Stand Or Fall
by RedRedRosy
Summary: KakaSaku. Five years have passed since Kakashi was taken prisoner in the war. He finally breaks free and returns to his broken home.
1. Return

A/N: I've had this for a long while, so I decided to post it. This is just a side thing - no biggie - and will most likely be treated as such until I gain interest in it. As of right now, I'm tossing chapter two and redoing the plot. Still, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* * *

Stand Or Fall

Chapter One: Return

Defeat never comes to any man until he admits it. - Joseph Daniels

* * *

Mishap. A horrible mishap. That's what this was. His fingers gripped the rough edge of rock tightly. His back was inches away from the wall of stone. Perhaps this hadn't been his best idea after all. Some genius. It was all a little ridiculous when he looked back on it. His mouth twisted into a smirk as he thought of the sheer _brilliance_ of trying to _climb_ his way out of that hell hole. But his gut turned as he considered going back. He couldn't handle himself in there. And worse, he knew that he couldn't.

But there was a light overhead. It was distant and grey, but he had never felt a yearning for anything like he did for it. That sight was like air. He couldn't say _no_ to it. He couldn't whisper a goodbye and abandon it. That simply wasn't an option. How long had it taken him to dig this, even using jutsu? How long had he waited? A little uncomfortable tingle, a little sense of danger; was that all it was going to take to make him turn tail and run? _No_.

He clawed his way up, pushing chakra into his hands and feet in an attempt to better balance himself in his rush. Once he had covered about half the distance to the surface, exhaustion hit. He leaned his upper body back against the underground ledge behind him as he fought for breath. He felt dizzy. He felt joy. Freedom was a mere 250 yards from him. Even on his worst days that distance was _nothing_.

They had been foolish to think that they could ever keep him. Hinder him, yes. Torture him, yes. But there was only so much you could do to a man who had _let_ you capture him. They had never stood a chance. As soon as there had been less than a dozen guards, there was no stopping him.

He was going home.

He trudged his way through mud and rubble, cinder and brink, forest and grass. He was so weak and so relieved when he finally saw those familiar gates that he almost fell to his knees. He had made it.

Getting in was a bit more difficult. Security had definitely tightened, and there was really no way that they would believe him. His most precious possession was lost. Unfortunately, it had also served as a sure fire way to identify him. Without it, how could he possibly claim the name that he bore? His face was sunken and dirty - not that they would be able to recognize him by that anyway - and even his hair was slack and covered with black soot.

His fingers held his brown trench coat closed, gripping it close to his body. "You have to believe me," he said softly, not bothered at all at the fact that he sounded like a rogue, a fake.

"How dare you take the name of a dead hero!" cried a young guard. He _was_ young. His eyes still sparkled with youthful innocence.

"Forgive me, I meant no offense." He didn't really know what he was apologizing for. Perhaps it was for the pure happiness burning in his chest. Perhaps it was for falling short of expectations, for failing his reputation and name.

But then the youth struck out at him, and he couldn't help his immediate defense. Without even realizing what he was doing, he struck back. The boy lay on his knees gasping for air. He choked and spluttered blood. The platoon rose up, their faces marked by outrage, and he felt a stab of pain. It was time to run.

Of course they didn't catch him. Even after five years of absence he knew this land better than they ever could. Eventually they were forced to return back to the village. He was a little proud. He really hadn't lost his touch. But they couldn't have been above Chunin. Times were rough after all.

He was forced to resort to sneaking his way in. It wasn't easy, but using an abandoned prison he was able to get a start. After finding guards even there, he went lower. Using the sewer, it was only a matter of time before he reached the inner circle of Konoha. He was enraged that someone could so easily break in. Who was in charge? Whoever they were, they were going to get an earful. He could still give one hell of a lecture.

He came up in the plumbing system and worked his way into the streets. He was lucky that it was a time of war, otherwise he may not have been able to pass as a homeless civilian. But many people were filthy here, so it worked to his great advantage.

His body started to tremble with pent up emotion and he leaned against a building for support. He had fought and studied and manipulated for five years. Perhaps he was more dangerous now than he had been when he left. It was very likely. But first he had to recover before he could claim anything. He watched the people bustling about the streets. Most wore neutral or dusty clothes. They held bandages or comrades or little broken possessions. There were flashes of color. Purple here, blue there. Yellow here, pink there. Wait, pink. _Pink._ "Sakura!"

The head whipped around, emerald eyes searching. He rushed forward, moving as swiftly as a ghost among the crowd. He popped up in front of her, his head bent down as he peered into her eyes, studying her face. He couldn't hide the goofy grin toying with his lips. He laughed softly.

"Can I help you?" she asked, looking over him. She didn't seem to find anything strange about his appearance; his dirty rags, his obvious partial insanity, his looming figure, the blood soaked cloth bound to his head covering one of his eyes.

He shook his head _no_ but said, "Yes." He sighed through his smile. "You grew up so beautifully."

"Should I know you?"

He chuckled.

"_Do_ I know you?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, very well."

"What's your name?"

"I'm -" His throat constricted. "I...I'm..."

She smiled at him skeptically and touched his shoulder. "It's okay."

If she had been anyone else he would have shrugged her off in frustration. He frowned. "Can you take me to the Hokage?"

She looked at him strangely. "He's very busy."

So Naruto had made it. "I think he'll make an exception." He noticed how raspy and high his voice was, not at all like his own. "Please," he said gently. "It's important."

"Are you a shinobi?"

He paused. "I was."

"So you're retired?"

"Sort of. Sakura, I really don't have time to be -"

"Well the Hokage doesn't have for _you_, and neither do I."

She turned to walk away from him, but he dragged her back by her shoulder. It was desperation. "No, Sakura, please!"

"Who are you?"

"Someone who loves you and Naruto and this village more than anything else in the world. If you could just tell me where Naruto is -"

"_Hokage-sama._"

"What?"

"Only close friends can call him Naruto."

He released her. "Fine. I'll find him on my own. Don't be surprised if you get summoned."

She snorted. "You think I'll get _punishment_ for this?"

He felt his expression soften. "No."

She stared at him for a few seconds and then took hold of his sleeve. She tugged him through the streets. He stiffened. "Where are we going?"

"If you're going to see Naruto then you're at least taking a bath first. You stink."

He grinned. "Thanks."

Sakura glanced back at him once before her eyes turned back to the path in front of her. "You remind me of someone," she whispered. Her spare arm wrapped around her stomach. "He died a long time ago though."

"Sakura, I -"

"That's the only reason I'm doing this!" she said sharply.

"I understand," he mumbled, his chest searing with a dull ache. Had he caused them to suffer so much? Did his very presence cause her pain now? He swore that it was nonsense, but then he remembered how he had felt when the Yondaime had fallen. It was such a dramatic, dark time of his life. Thinking on it, he couldn't blame her. He hadn't been able to so much as look at Naruto for the first month of his life. It had hurt too much.

She left him in the bath house, going over to the women's bath. He watched her leave. After a few minutes of standing there dumbfounded and mindless, he followed her. He had to let her know. She would hate him if he didn't.

He dropped his coat in the dressing room, tossing it on the floor carelessly. He sincerely _didn't_ care. The only thing he honestly cared about in that moment was telling Sakura who he was. He had waited too long for their reunion to be so cold, so tainted. He wouldn't allow it.

Steam rose up around him, but he found her almost instantly. There was no one else there. She was kneeling down, her knees together and her hands clamped down on the towel wrapped around her body. Her hair was a bit longer than he remembered, the pink tresses brushing against her shoulders, and she was paler. She looked almost delicate, and he couldn't help feeling a longing for her. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to comfort her. He wanted to be the one to take that horrible expression off of her face.

He approached her slowly, quietly. He watched her eyes, her lifeless, distant eyes. His muscles quivered with the desire to run. This was taking too long. His feet stumbled under him. His body wasn't used to this emotion. It made him feel helpless, unstable. She turned towards him, startled by the noise. Her eyes came back to life, rage simmering along the surface. It was almost malicious.

He lowered himself to her side, never breaking eye contact lest she decide to take his head off. He knew this was bold - so bold - but he also knew that she would forgive him. She had to.

"What do you want?" she growled.

His lips pressed together. He still couldn't say it. His very _being_ wouldn't allow it. His gaze turned to the water, his mind reeling. Would it hurt her? Would she hate him? Perhaps, but he owed it to her. She had gained his respect and that alone was reason enough.

"I want...to tell you something...but I can't and it's killing me."

"What do you mean?" She was clutching her small towel to her form tightly in an attempt to preserve some form of her modesty.

He glanced at her and sighed. Then, turning back to the water, dipped his head in its murky warmth. He felt the stinging on his eye, but he ignored it and scrubbed his face and hair clean. He did so thoroughly, to the point that when he came back up he was breathless.

Sakura waited for him with measured patience. She noticed that he was a good-looking man, enough to catch your attention. She seemed morbidly curious.

He decided to take advantage of that. "I understand why you don't think that you know me." His voice was beginning to sound smoother, deeper, more normal. "I wouldn't expect you to. It's my fault that you don't."

"What are you going on about?"

He stared intensely into her eyes. "Try to understand."

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"Because it's not that simple! I wish it was, but it just isn't. I _can't_ tell you." He ran both hands over his face. "But maybe I can help you."

"Hm?"

He pulled the collar of his black shirt up over his face, covering his nose down. "Familiar? Please tell me you haven't forgotten."

Sakura's lips parted slightly and her precautious balance slipped. She fell into the water. His hands flashed out to catch her, but he only managed to keep her chest and higher out of the water. Her eyes never left him and her hands were fists against her breast. Her lips shaped his name, but she seemed to be as incapable of speaking it as he was.

He nodded and pulled her closer to him. He sat on the edge of rock lining the spring. His caves and feet were drowned in the water, but the rest of him was dry - apart from his collar which was noticeably damp. "Sakura, breathe," he ordered gently, said collar falling back into place.

"I thought you were dead," she choked.

"Apparently everyone does." He took a strand of her hair and twirled it around his finger. "So beautiful," he whispered.

Sakura's hand touched her lips. When her mouth twisted in a cry, she pressed her palm to it. Her eyes glistened. She gasped. "Don't be lying. Oh, God, don't be lying."

"When have I ever lied to you?" He touched her cheek. "Sakura, I swear that this is the truth."

She touched the edge of his hair with one hand and used the other to trace the lines of his jaw, his eye, his lips. He closed his eye and let her, relishing in the feeling of her gentle touch. It was so easy, so safe, so pleasing. He said her name softly. Again. Caressed it. She was so close to him, the tip of her nose touching his chin. It was heaven. He had never felt such a pure joy, such unbound, silly happiness. But what did _she_ feel?

"I'm so sorry," he said softly, his voice agonized.

"What for?" she asked brokenly.

"For being so stupid," he answered, his lips brushing her cheek. "For hurting you so much. If I could take it back you know I would."

"I know, I know. You don't have to say it."

"I want to," he insisted. "It's the least I can do to repent. I know you'll never forgive me, but -"

"Shh," she hushed. "Kakashi, don't. Please don't."

"Don't what?" He wanted to see her face, but his body wouldn't pull away enough for him to catch a so much as a glimpse.

"Take all the blame. You've always done that, and it _always_ hurts you. Not this time."

"But Sakura, I _am _to blame."

"Shut up."

He kissed her forehead. "You're too kind to me."

She clung to his shoulders as the sobs began to rack her body, to tear her chest and make her heart bleed. Kakashi held her in a tender embrace, careful to tame the laughter of delight that bubbled in his throat. It was senseless and inappropriate, but he couldn't help it. To hold her in his arms, to feel her breath upon his skin, and hear her voice in her cries left him dizzy. It was so impossible. No one should ever be allowed to be this happy. It was like his heart's mischief. It was wild. It was madness.

Her head pulled away from him and her hands gripped his face. "How dare you? You _idiot_."

"What?"

Her eyes glazed over with tears. There were so many feelings buried in her. Distress, anger, joy. It left her weak. He was _here_, alive and real, and she could touch him and speak to him. He wasn't a ghost in the back of her mind, a pain she avoided. Did he know that? Did he realize the desperate happiness burning in her soul? She crushed her mouth to his, and he let her, his touch still gentle and unrestraining. It was short, and soon she had her head again tucked under his chin. She didn't want him to see her. Not this way. Not broken. "I've missed you so much," she rasped, her voice hollow and shaking.

He kissed the top of her head. "I know," he said deeply. "I've missed you too - more than you'll ever know." He sighed. "I should go bathe. I really do need to speak to Naruto."

She nodded. "Yes, I know. Of course."

They met back up outside of the bath house, and Sakura couldn't help herself. It was silly perhaps, but she studied his face and his eye and his expressions like she was waiting for him to dissolve before her eyes, to prove that he was nothing but a dream, a hallucination, an imagining send torture her. He was patient with her, petting her when it seemed she needed it and reassuring her when he thought it appropriate. She looked so fragile.

The air was warm and the breeze felt nice in his wet hair. It felt so peaceful here in this chaos. But the guilt was ripping at him. Kakashi had purposely made himself prisoner before, multiple times in fact, but it had never lasted longer than four months. Minato had been furious, but it had stopped the war. This time he had went in knowing fully well that he wouldn't be stopping this war, but he had never considered the length of time that he would be held captive, or the fact that they would consider him dead, or that his small plan would cause so much unintended pain. It was unfair to all the people he had unknowingly involved, and he could feel their despair and their anger as keenly as if it were his own.

He held Sakura to his side as they made their way to Konoha's newest Hokage. He had to be touching her constantly. If he didn't, he wasn't sure what the madness would bring.

He had so many questions, and so many more answers it seemed. He wondered how Naruto would take it, his return. And more so he wondered if the shock of seeing him would effect him as strongly as Sakura had. Probably not. His emotions were already calming and his exhaustion was draining what little energy he had left. It took effort to simply smile now.

Sakura was leading him towards the safety vaults in the Hokage mountain. He was stunned that they had been forced to take things so far. Had the enemies invaded the village during the course of the war? Who had died forcing them out? Who was _left_? It wasn't a mystery, it was an anxiety.

Sakura's presence helped, of course, in getting through security. As they passed, Kakashi wondered how long it would be before those very same guards would know who he was, his name, his history. Would the knowledge bring a boost of morale, or would it bring hate, a sense of betrayal among comrades? He had always been one to handle pressure well. He never wavered. But he had also never been one to doubt himself. Confidence had been born in him. Pride, honor - things he had ruled inside of himself effortlessly.

His thoughts were broken by Sakura. She shook him, and when he looked down at her face he saw traces of fear. He wondered what expression was he must have been wearing to bring about such feelings. He took a deep breath and smiled tenderly. "Are you ready?"

She nodded and pointed down a long hallway. More guards stood outside of the doors, only these weren't guards. They were Anbu. Kakashi saw the scars over their skin. They each wore masks and their left arms were marked by ink-black tattoos. All apart from one, one who bore a crimson stain. He was a captain. Kakashi had once worn that same mark.

"That's where he is?"

"Yes," she answered softly, "but it looks like he's in the middle of a briefing. We should wait."

Kakashi looked at her strangely. She shot him a questioning look back, but he ignored it. He rolled his shoulders back and smirked at her. "Bet I could make it in there without you."

Her fingers clenched around his arm painfully. "Don't you dare."

He laughed. "And why not?"

"You'll get hurt! Naruto's been stressed lately. He's tense. If you bust your way in there he'd probably end up attacking you."

Kakashi touched his lips to her cheek. "How strong as he gotten?"

She closed her eyes and leaned closer to him. "Very."

He smiled. "Good, good." He kissed her temple. "But I've lost a lot of my old patience, Sakura. I want to see him. And I need to know what's happened since I've been gone. I know that you would be a fine source of information, but it seems like you try to take yourself out of important knowledge and that's of now use to me."

They had been being observed for a while now but none of the Anbu seemed concerned. It was Sakura after all, and Kakashi doubted that she would ever let Naruto go through this completely alone. She must have been down here often. He turned towards the assembled squad, pulling Sakura with him as he walked towards the door. "Gentlemen," he greeted with a nod when they got close enough. But as he reached for the door one of them blocked his way. He sighed. "Move."

"The Hokage is currently busy. You'll have to wait."

Kakashi smiled slyly in annoyance. "No."

"Sir, only specific people are allowed to interrupt -"

"I'm sure I'm on that list."

The Anbu didn't seem to like him much. "And who are -"

The door flew open. The entirety of the entrance was blocked by yet another Anbu, but this one was different and familiar with tanned skin and dark hair. The Anbu removed his mask - which was strictly against the rules in the presence of unknown persons - and took a deep breath. Kakashi knew who it was immediately, and he couldn't help but smile at his good fortune. The man had certainly grown, however, with defined, masculine features and sharp eyes. His brows pulled together in confusion and disbelief. "No way..."

Kakashi grinned. "Hello, Kiba. How have you been? Is Kurenai doing well?"

Kiba stumbled back and Kakashi noticed a white hand gripping the young man's rounded shoulder. Pale eyes appeared, dark brown hair framing a normally stoic face. Neji. "So it's true," he said softly to himself in his deep, unique voice. "Unbelievable."

Kakashi glanced at the guards around him with a sort of smug satisfaction. He couldn't help himself. It was human nature. He bowed to them in mock fashion, and then he entered the room, dragging Sakura with him and shutting the door tightly behind him. The air was still. Silence, deafening silence in that stunned corridor. Shock. Confusion. But all things would soon be clear.

The room was well lit, but the figure standing on the opposite side of the large desk that took up most of the room was dark. Golden bangs fell over soft eyelids, lips that were so easy to express emotion remained firm. Whiskers still marked the curves of tan cheeks, and a welcoming power still poured from this being. Easy acceptance. Mastery of reaction. And then his eyes opened and Kakashi was startled by the intelligent dark blue eyes that stared at him, that peered into the depths of his being. His hand tightened around Sakura's, and she moved closer into his side. A soft smile graced those lips, and then a sigh slid through them. Naruto turned to fully face them. "You should have sent word...sensei. I would have had a team escort you here."

"It would have made no difference."

"Perhaps," Naruto allowed, "but it would have at least prepared me. You must have shocked poor Sakura-chan."

Glancing at her cowered into his side, he still saw the effects of that. "You're right, but there wasn't time and, to be honest, I'm still not thinking very clearly."

Naruto's face seemed to soften. "Neji, you know the mission well enough. I'm naming you squad captain. Now, if you'll excuse me." He moved from behind the desk, gesturing quickly for Kiba to obtain the maps and scrolls and notes scattered across its surface. Both Kiba and another masked member moved to follow those orders, and Naruto put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. He hesitated though, seemingly in awe, before regaining his composure. "Please, follow me."

Kakashi threw a look around him, taking in the surroundings and measuring the other shinobis' reactions. He breathed a soft breath through his mouth as he turned to watch Naruto open the door, a loud booming noise in the nearly unbroken quiet. And then he took his first steps to follow, holding Sakura securely to his side, her arms wrapped around his waist.


	2. Perfectly Wrong

A/N: Stopped my reread of _Gone With The Wind _long enough to write this. Fantastic book. I think I'm happy with this chapter. I'm on vacation right now (the mountains are beautiful, btw), so that may or may not be the reason for my sudden inspiration. Oh, and I also changed the rating to M - just to keep my options open, you know.

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Stand Or Fall

Chapter Two: Perfectly Wrong

"My dear, I don't give a damn." - Rhett Butler

* * *

Smoke rose in grayish black clouds, wispy and unyielding, from the dying fire pit, allowing little heat for the shinobi sloppily arranged around it. Kakashi poked at the red embers with a short stick. Sparks and dust flew up into the air. He realized belatedly - and with a mild regret - that he didn't care enough about the chilly night to focus his effort on refueling the flames. He tossed the stick onto the useless ashes, stifling a sigh as he laid back down, his hands behind his head.

This was his sixth successful mission since his return to the village two months ago. They had kept him tied down in the hospital for a week monitoring him to make sure he had no lasting injuries. Of course, everyone was most shocked to find that Sharingan no Kakashi was recently without his fabled sharingan. It had made the first team he led out very fearful. Everything that they had ever heard about him was praise, but it was usually associated with his unusual eye. Now, missing that eye, they didn't know what to expect. A few of them had had the brains to dig up some research on him. They found in those old facts that he had been quite accomplished long before he had ever gained the sharingan's power. It had comforted them, but it was still a long ways away from assurance.

It was his job to do that, to instill the trust and confidence in his subordinates that he had once received upon glance. It didn't take long for his teams and for the village to realize that a Kakashi without a sharingan was not a useless Kakashi. He now commanded his soldiers with an iron will, and they followed like obedient dogs.

Explaining to his Hokage what had kept him chained for so long was no easy task. Naruto held such a faith in him that Kakashi was pained to see the disappointment in his former student's aging face. Those kids had always thought of him as indestructible, even when he was constantly bedded in those damned hospitals. Of course, being drained of blood and chakra everyday coupled with being starved and beaten didn't make it easy to take on twenty guards. Naruto at least understood the dilemma. If anything he was shocked to know that Kakashi had even survived after hearing how he was punished for his…incompliance.

Kakashi could sense the dawn coming. He sat up heavily, kicking the body closest to him roughly. Kiba rolled over, his head falling against his shoulder as a muffled growl died on his lips. Kakashi's mouth formed a solid line. He kicked again - harder.

"I'm up," Kiba grunted.

"Act like it."

Kakashi glanced over his shoulder to Neji and Kei, the team's fill-in and earth element specialist. Neji was already awake, working on reviving their last comrade. Kei seemed to shrug out of sleep, quickly slipping into the same attitude as Neji. Both were moving to grab their equipment as Kakashi destroyed evidence of their fire. He kicked Kiba once more for good measure when the younger shinobi refused to cooperate. "We're leaving," he announced. "We're two miles away from the village. I want us back before dawn breaks."

"Of course you do," Kiba sneered.

"Don't be difficult," Kakashi drawled.

"Don't be an asshole."

"Can't help that, I'm afraid."

Kiba glared at him but stood and grabbed his pack. "So much for getting any sleep," he grumbled.

Kakashi glanced back at Neji, who stood staring back at he and Kiba with a look of boredom and impatience. Kakashi sighed. "All right, let's go."

* * *

He was disappointed to have arrived slightly behind schedule. The sun was just cutting through the mountain peaks as his team had made it through the gates. Having returned and given his thorough report - which would never have been so thorough had not he been trying to win a _war_ - he quickly made his way to return home. He stopped on the way to buy a bag of chocolates before turning the corner to reach his apartment building.

Well, it wasn't technically _his _building. He had moved into the charming two bedroom apartment with Sakura once he had been released from the hospital, having discovered that she had a spare room where Tenten had stayed until her engagement to Neji was finalized - meaning Neji actually _said_ it. To be honest, it had made to quite the advantageous arrangement. Upon his return he hadn't wanted to spend a moment in the absence of those he loved, and living with one of those loved ones put ease to that ache in his chest. Soon, however, the ache had lessened and he found it easier to be separated. He had started taking his missions again then, and at that point also started paying Sakura back for all of his expenses. She said it wasn't necessary, but he wasn't blind to her poor paycheck. Given that his own payments were cut in half to fund the war, he felt that sharing the weight of the bills made them both sleep easier.

He entered the apartment, shutting the door behind him and laying both his key and the chocolates on the counter. The apartment opened up into the kitchen. There was a small living room beyond that, a bathroom and a closet tucked neatly beside his bedroom. Sakura's bedroom resided on the opposite side of the living room, closer to the kitchen. Kakashi plucked off his mud-caked boots before making a bee-line straight for the bathroom.

It was a little past four in the morning, so Kakashi knew he had half an hour before Sakura woke up and started going about her day. He quickly stripped himself of his mucky clothing, intending to be clean and dressed before she woke. That plan was quickly shot to hell, however, when his sore muscles met the heat of the hot water pouring from the shower. He swore it was seven minutes before he even moved to reach for the soap.

And then there was the ever-expected banging on the bathroom door.

Kakashi groaned, mumbling something about being out in a minute. _Liar_.

When he finally emerged, dense steam streaming from the bathroom and towel wrapped securely around his waist, he found that Sakura had already put the chocolates in the freezer and was working on devourig her breakfast. She glared at him tiredly, leaning against the counter with her mouth full of toast. Kakashi raised his eyebrows but shrugged as he turned to enter his room.

"You could pick up your clothes," she called.

He ignored her. A little sadistically, he left his door open as he entered his room and began his search for a clean uniform and a pair of boxers. Sakura stopped at his doorway on her way to the bathroom. She leaned against the frame and moaned as he held up a wrinkled pair of spotted green boxers. "You have no idea how sexy you look," she purred.

Kakashi looked over his shoulder at her. He quite enjoyed her mocking. "I have a faint idea," he answered with a grin.

Sakura rolled her eyes with a frustrated sigh. "You could at least _try_ to be easier to live with."

"You only complain about me in the mornings."

"You're only annoying in the mornings."

"Hey, you're the one who offered to let me stay. Don't go changing this up to make me out to be the bad guy."

"_You're_ living with _me_. You are annoying _me_. Forgive me, Sensei, but that makes you the bad guy."

Kakashi frowned. "I bought you chocolates."

"Thanks."

Kakashi's frown deepened. "That _is_ my apology."

Sakura didn't reply.

"I am _not _going to say it."

Sakura shrugged. "I don't care if you do."

"Yes you do," Kakashi hissed.

Sakura tilted her head. "Did you sleep last night?"

"Not a wink. Why?"

"It's just a reasonable explanation for your behavior," she answered. "You're never a slob, and your showers don't last longer than three minutes!"

"Sometimes they do," he objected, defensive.

Sakura smiled at him and made off to the bathroom, having both insulted him and confused him. "Huh," he murmured. "Tricky girl."

He decided that nothing of vital importance required his attention for the day - Naruto always gave him the remainder of the day off any day that he was returning from a mission - and so he dressed casually. Or, as casually as his closet would allow. He had almost no civilian clothes. Two pairs of pants - neither of which even fit him anymore - and a cotton shirt that he complained itched terribly; that was all that made up his civilian collection. So he grabbed a uniform, leaving behind his weapons and his flak jacket, as well as his other accessories. He left his mask as well. He tended to do that; Sakura's apartment had such a warm, sweet smell. It almost always put him to sleep.

He made his way to the kitchen, fully intending to steal whatever was left of Sakura's breakfast. He paused, a soft breath escaping his gently smiling lips as he saw two plates on the circled table, one which was half empty. He laughed softly, his heart warm. What a sweet girl.

He was standing at the sink downing a glass of milk, his plate waiting patiently to be cleaned, when Sakura made her speedy entry. She grabbed what was left of her food and began stuffing it into her mouth as she carried it with her to her room. Kakashi stared after her. He always liked the way the white of the cotton towels looked against Sakura's skin and in contrast to her hair. He pushed his sleeves up and wet the sponge. When he was drying his glass, Sakura came whirling back in, her shirt crooked and lacking her weapons, and dropped her plate into the sink. Without pause, Kakashi picked it up and began washing it. He started humming.

"Stop that," Sakura ordered as she began to fix her shirt. "You're no house wife."

"There's nothing wrong with being a house wife. It seems like a perfectly happy life," he answered. "And I like to hum."

"Hn."

"Do I sound bad?" he questioned, smiling in amusement despite himself. "Am I out of tune?"

"You sound like an angel," Sakura huffed quickly. It was a talent that Kakashi couldn't fathom. How could she drip sarcasm even when answering in a dismissive manner? "You're off today," she added dully. "How unfair."

"I'd happily switch places with you," Kakashi offered.

"You don't know a damn thing about running a hospital."

"You'd be surprised," he chirped.

Sakura frowned. "I don't think I would."

Kakashi dried her plate, placing it back in its proper location. He turned back to face her. "Thank you. For breakfast, I mean. I knew you must've been pretty mad at me, so that just made it that much a nicer a thing for you to do."

"I'm no saint," she grunted. "Don't let my random acts of kindness confuse you."

"Oh, never," he mocked, a hand flying to his chest.

"You're way too happy to be home."

"I need sleep," Kakashi sighed.

"You do," she said seriously. "Rest. I'll be back tonight."

"You're not coming home for lunch?"

"I don't think I'll even be taking lunch."

"Well that's not right!"

Sakura stared at him. "You are _not_ coming to the hospital."

"The hell I'm not." He sounded adamant too.

Sakura sighed. "I'm leaving."

"M'kay. See you."

* * *

_Strange_, Sakura thought as she shrugged out of her formal white coat and quickly signed out. Kakashi had been the gentleman, bringing her lunch and, in consideration of her own feelings, leaving it for her without so much as a word. She had not even seen him.

And the lunch had been good too. Well made and sweet, it was just what she needed after the chaos of emergency surgery.

Her nerves were always frayed at the end of every week. She only took one Saturday off every two weeks. Naruto was working her hard. She swore that she was being driven into the dirt. And then coming home to Kakashi of all people. She rarely saw him - he was almost always out on some important mission or another - and when she did he usually went out of his way to tease her and spoil her. Half the things he did didn't make any sense, but then he had always been like that. It was just a hard thing to get used to living with. Not that he was hard to live with - no, he wasn't a bother in the least bit. He was just a bit confusing. Sakura still felt like a child trying to unravel the workings of his mind. She'd come to terms with the fact that _he _was the genius, not her, and that made things easier.

But then he would go and buy her chocolates, or bring her lunch, or put her to bed when she fell asleep on the couch. He would kiss her forehead and laugh at her as she blushed. None of that was confusing though - it was just him showing affection, and she could handle and understand that. It was when he started being rotten that she got confused. Kakashi was naturally a hard person, he wasn't one to pet your head and tell you how pretty you were, so she expected at least a little roughened edge from him. But waking up in the middle of the night to find him dripping in sweat as he pushed his body in training, slapping her away and gruffly ordering her to mind her own business? That was a little much. She supposed she at least preferred that to his silent treatments. Kakashi's silent treatments were a complete distance between himself and every living thing around him. Sakura could only guess that those moods of his weren't really directed specifically at her. She hoped.

She wasn't surprised to find him asleep on the couch with _Icha Icha Paradise_ lying haphazardly over his chest. He had almost certainly fell asleep waiting for her. Dinner was waiting on the table. Kakashi hadn't touched his food. He had made it a point to at least have dinner with her when he was home.

Kakashi was a strange sight when he slept. It wasn't in the same sense as one would normally assume that to be. Kakashi didn't look calm and serene and _peaceful_ when he slept. No, that wasn't his case. Kakashi looked strange only because he wasn't forcing expression, and in doing so he managed to look much more natural. For a man who had hidden his face from the world for the majority of his life, he didn't seem to be hiding all that much.

Sakura went and shed herself of her day clothes, slipping on something looser and more comfortable. She was mildly surprised to come back to see that Kakashi was still sleeping. He must have been exhausted - he would never have been able to sleep through the soft noise that she had made otherwise. Sighing, she picked up _Icha Icha_, closing it with a quiet _tap_ and setting it on the coffee table that one of Kakashi's feet had invariably found. The touch had been enough to stir him.

Sakura had discovered that a Kakashi at home was not that different from a Kakashi on a mission. He woke up just as gracefully, although perhaps a bit more slowly, and he kept things just as organized and necessary as he always had. Kakashi's lone eye looked up at her through thin, white bangs. His lips pressed together in a soft moan as he heaved himself up, sitting back against the couch. "You're home," he stated blankly.

"Yep."

"Hn." Kakashi pushed his hair out of his face. "Dinner's ready."

"I noticed. I was waiting for you, sleepyhead."

"Don't tease me." His voice was low, not at all playful; but also not forceful.

"Did you sleep all day?"

"No." He looked her over, obviously somewhat regretting his short ways with her. "I brought you lunch," he offered.

Sakura nodded. "You didn't stay long enough for me to thank you."

"I was under the impression that you didn't want me to."

Sakura was getting frustrated. She hated when he was like this, when he was dry and expressionless. "You're still tired."

"I'll go back to sleep after dinner," he answered.

She looked at him strangely. "Have you eaten today?"

"I had breakfast."

Sakura's eyebrows lowered. "So you were awake long enough to make lunch and bring it to the hospital for me, but not long enough to feed yourself?"

"Something like that."

"You're a dud."

"What's a dud?"

Sakura shook her head, grabbing his arm and pulling him to get him to stand up. He was heavier than he looked. "Let's eat."

"Hn."

Situated and dining, Sakura paused. "Are you going to be here tomorrow?"

"Probably not," Kakashi murmured. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Sakura passed. "I was just making sure so that I'd be able to make plans."

"Don't inconvenience yourself on my behalf."

"You say that so casually. It's like you don't care at all," she whined.

Kakashi shrugged. "I've learned that people always try too hard to be nice, especially to friends. You have a life, Sakura. It's okay to live it."

"You're not just my friend. You're my roommate and former sensei."

"And that changes things how?"

Sakura sighed. "You're so difficult."

Kakashi didn't answer. He went back to eating.

Sakura tilted her head. "Is it very different? Not having the sharingan, I mean."

"You're awfully talkative," Kakashi noted. "I'm not entirely sure how to answer that question. Remember, there was a point in my life when I didn't have the sharingan. I was never really meant to have it anyway. I'm not of Uchiha lineage. The sharingan was a strain on my body. In the sense that I have much more chakra to spare, yes, it is different."

"Do you miss it?" She almost regretted asking, but she was too curious.

"Miss it?" he echoed. "Hm. That's a complicated question."

"How so?"

"There's backstory that expands so much time and importance of my life that I'm not sure I'd even be able to explain it right, even if I _could _manage to stay awake long enough to tell you." Kakashi stuffed another bite into his mouth. He swallowed. "Let's just say that yeah, I miss it."

"Huh." That gave Sakura a lot more to consider. And the way he avoided the question was so painfully obvious. "Is that why you push yourself so hard when you train, to make up for what you lost?"

"No. I've always trained like that."

"Really?" She sounded genuinely shocked.

"Yeah. Really."

"That has to be unhealthy."

Kakashi shrugged.

The man really didn't give a damn what she had to say on the matter.

* * *

Saturday mornings were Satan's territory. Sakura fished through her closet for at least an hour. Where the hell was that dress? The one that Ino had bought her along with a box of condoms as a gag for her last birthday? The one that her _mother_ had pitched in to buy? It couldn't have just upped and vanished.

"Kakashi! Did you move my dress?" she yelled.

She wouldn't be surprised if she had woken him up. She heard a yawn and the creakings of a mattress as he shuffled out of his room. "Which one?"

"The little black one."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows. "Haven't touched it, but I'd sure like to see it. What would _you _be doing with a dress like that?"

She cast a glare over her shoulder, insulted at the implication that _she_ specifically would have no use for such a dress. "None of your business."

"Fair enough."

She went back to searching.

"So, is this the _plan_ you were so graciously putting on hold in consideration of poor, little me?"

Sakura opened her mouth to tell him to go to hell, but she instead squealed in delight as she held up her trophy. "Yes! Got it!"

"That's a mighty tiny dress."

"Shut up," she said, spinning around to face him. "And what are you still doing here anyway? I thought you would have left for a new mission by now."

"Naruto asked me to stay another day. He has a conference coming up and he wanted me to look over the information and give him my opinion before he went in. I suggested that he use Shikamaru instead, but he said that the elders and leaders would feel more comfortable if he used me."

"Why you?"

"Experience."

"You're not _that _old."

"I didn't think so either."

Sakura unfolded the dress, frowning at the wrinkles. "So, you'll be staying home again today?"

He shrugged. "Probably. But don't let that stop you from going out," he added with a grin.

"I shouldn't go anyway. I have to be back at the hospital in the morning. And these wrinkles are ridiculous."

"I agree about the wrinkles."

"Of course you do. These'll take some work," she said, staring down at the black silk. Sakura threw the dress on her bed. "You want to come?"

"Oh, an invitation! Finally!"

Sakura growled at him. "Maturity," she reminded him, "is a gift."

He smiled at her. "Sakura, do I look twenty to you?"

It was a rhetorical question, but Sakura examined his face seriously. "You could pass for twenty."

"That's the nicest thing I've heard all day."

"It had better be. I don't compliment you freely."

"Trust me, I know."

Sakura put her hands on her hips. "I'm seriously though. You should come."

"Sure, get me drunk and hung-over before sending me out to sabotage an elite unit. Brilliant."

"I was being nice, asshole," she grunted.

"I've been being called that quite a bit lately. Huh."

"Maybe there's some truth in it."

"Maybe," he allowed. "I don't really care though."

"I guessed as much." Sakura glanced at her clock. Seven thirty-eight. "You woke up early to talk to Naruto, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I just went back to bed when I got home. Figured I had nothing better to do."

"I need to get going. Ino'll blow a fuse if I'm late."

"What are you doing?"

"Girls' day out. And night. Whatever."

"Have fun."

"I hope so." Sakura grabbed the bag leaning against her bedpost and stuffed her dress into it. She added, concerned, "Remember to eat today, all right?"

"Sure thing."

And she was reassured that he would, if only because she had asked him to.

* * *

He was tall and well built with short hair and pale brown eyes. He was charming and his voice was smooth and his hands were large and warm and he just smelled so _good_. His touch was gentle and his joking was playful and open. He was just a few years older than her. He was a new Jounin. He had seen the battlefield twice. His squad captain was usually Aburame Shino - which made sense because Shino was such a good fighter to have when taking on a large group of enemies.

She had forgotten his name three times that night, and now she was grasping for straws, desperately trying to remember what it was. But she guessed it didn't really matter because he was taking her home and she hadn't gotten laid in such a very long time.

And then he did something stupid like push her against a dirty brick wall in some backways street, shoving his tongue into her mouth and letting his hands roam and grope her body senselessly. She pressed her hands against his shoulders and pushed him away gently. "Easy. Just a bit longer."

"No, now," he groaned.

And then she was disgusted at his touch. She shoved him away, watching him fall and stare up at her with wide, shocked eyes, his mouth hanging open like some idiot. "You stupid drunk! You just couldn't do this right, could you?"

She walked away grumbling about giving Ino a piece of her mind and something else about beating the hell out of loser shinobi just promoted for the war who groped the wrong places and said the wrong things and who would probably die next week defending some rundown shack that was being used in place of an outpost.

Sakura really had to raise her standards.

* * *

Sakura didn't come home that night. Kakashi went to bed with a slight smile on his lips.

She was such a naughty little girl.


	3. Hit Me

A/N: Woah. Quick update.

* * *

Stand Or Fall

Chapter Three: Hit Me

"It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true." - Oscar Wilde

* * *

_Twenty Years Earlier_

He blocked the kick aimed at his head skillfully, throwing a punch and hitting his opponent in the gut. Kakashi threw a left hook and caught an already breathless Genma in the cheek, leaving Genma to stagger back with blood filling his mouth. He grabbed at Genma with his left hand, his fingers tangling in coffee colored hair, and dragged him close enough for Kakashi to pound on him with a series of hard rights.

The whistle blew with a high shriek. Kakashi released him. He watched as Genma struggled to keep his knees steady. His face was bleeding. Maybe Kakashi had been a bit too hard? Even now there was a painfully obvious gap in strength between them. Genma was only a new Anbu tryout. He had made it through the first four tests - as impressive as that already was - and his final test was simply to be observed in a taijutsu match against a person already in Anbu who was of his own age. Kakashi was the closest they could find. Genma hadn't looked too happy with that.

Sarutobi, who had taken back up the position of Hokage after Minato's unfortunate death, rose from his seat behind the long desk of proctors. There was a smile in his aging face. "Very well done, Genma."

Kakashi could beg to differ.

Genma managed to answer without choking. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi gave the boy a nod, one of odd pride, and waved over a medic. His jaded eyes came back to meet Kakashi. "Thank you for participating. I'm happy to inform you that you will not be required to retake the exam this year."

Kakashi bowed deeply. He came back up, his arms still at his sides, and awaited further comment.

The proctors mumbled quietly amongst themselves for a while before deciding to simply tell him that he was impressing them further by his progress. Kakashi accepted their praise and bowed once more before exiting the room. Genma was leaning against the wall to his left. He had an ice pack on his coloring left cheek and a scroll in his other hand. He looked up when Kakashi opened the door. Kakashi offered him a smile. Genma frowned back at him. There was an uncomfortable pause where neither of them moved or spoke. With an internal shrug, Kakashi left the beaten boy behind him.

* * *

_Present Day_

Sakura huffed, frustrated, when she couldn't find her keys. She _really_ didn't want to bang on the door in the middle of the night. How rude. How _embarassing_.

Wasn't her night already bad enough? She had hooked up with that _idiot_ while Ino was probably off having a grand time with some gorgeous, charming cad who would no doubt give her a pleasurable night. And Sakura had stomped home so quickly and in such a disappointed rage that she hadn't even thought to return to Ino's apartment to change her clothes. Still clad in her short, tight black dress, the curve of her breast showing and the pale muscle of her thigh visible, she stood outside her apartment door. She sighed and searched her handbag once more. Resigned, she removed the hairpins from her hair clumsily and set to picking her own lock.

Smirking as the lock clicked open, she tucked the pins into her bag and opened her door easily.

Kakashi was standing in the kitchen, his foot against the edge of one of the three chairs. He was working on the straps. His Anbu uniform was securely fitted and his mask was raised over his nose. The porcelian mask, painted red and black over a creamy white, lay on the table, staring up at the ceiling with slanted eyes. The dog was grinning.

Sakura stared at him as she quietly shut the door behind her. She stood leaning against the frame, silent and watching, sensing the heavy atmosphere. Kakashi was troubled. His eye was dark underneath his curtain of silver bangs. His face was hidden, his muscles stiff. His fingers were jerking against the straps of his boot angrily. "Kakashi," she said hesitantly, calling him. She asked,"What happened?"

He looked up at her. "You took forever to open that door," he said, tilting his head towards it.

She tried to answer as she always would. "You didn't open it for me."

She wanted to see that mocking look on his face. It didn't come. "You lost your key. That's not my problem."

She was quiet, thinking and disturbed. Was he in one of his moods again? No, this didn't quite seem like that. He was bothered by something. "What's wrong?"

Kakashi let his foot fall off the chair. He stood straight, checking over himself and carefully grabbing his mask. He didn't put it on though, the mask dangling loosely from his fingertips. Kakashi walked towards her. She still stood in front of the door, she realized. She was blocking his path. "Sorry," she mumbled as she slid out of the way.

Kakashi shook his head, not moving for the door. "You look nice," he commented absently. "Though, to be honest, I'd prefer it if you didn't run around dressed like that."

Sakura looked down, blushing slightly. She didn't understand why Kakashi's opinion of what she should be wearing in public mattered anyway. "Sorry," she repeated.

"Did you have a nice night?" In that question he sounded genuine, almost like he had broken out of whatever trance he was in. Sakura was grateful.

"No," she answered immediately, without thinking. She almost cursed that she had answered truthfully. Perhaps he would be more agreeable if they had _something_ to talk about to distract him.

"Hn. I'm sorry." He didn't say anything after that, but he also didn't go to leave.

Sakura fumbled with her bag awkwardly.

"I missed you," she said finally, trying. "Today's males are so disappointing. They don't have any manners whatsoever."

Kakashi nodded. He didn't seem to have heard her at all. "I have a mission. I'll be back in two days," he informed her dryly.

It was better than him disappearing for a week. "Okay," she answered helplessly.

Kakashi looked at her hard for a long moment. Sakura couldn't think of anything to say. She stared back at him, confused and worried. Suddenly he moved and thick arms were wrapped around her, holding her to his chest. His face was buried in her neck and she could feel how harsh his breath was. He hadn't embraced her with such a desperation since he had returned to the village. It was frightening. Her hands were pressed against his chest uncertainly, somehow put there in her reaction and now stuck there by her confusion and his grip. He held her like that for a while, and Sakura smothered her questions for as long as she could. "Kakashi?" she squeaked.

He didn't answer her, his hold only becoming tighter and oddly more gentle. "I'll be back," he said softly.

That didn't make any sense. Of course he would be back. What was he thinking? "Right."

"Be safe," he begged.

Sakura could imagine the way his eye looked when he said that, the way his mouth turned down at the edges in a deep frown. Sakura's fingers pressed into his shoulders. When she pushed him back gently he moved with her touch, almost as though she was the force and he the weightless object. He offered no resistence. "What are you talking about?" she demanded.

He shook his head again. His hands came up to cup her face and he pressed a kiss to her cheek through his mask. He pulled away enough to stare at her face. "You know I love you, right?" he asked quietly. "You know that there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you?"

"Kakashi, you're scaring me. What's going on?" She narrowed her eyes. The edge of her voice was shaking.

He closed his eye. "War," he answered. She wanted to ask him what he meant, but he didn't allow her time, kissing her once more and then exiting the apartment with a obligatory, "See ya."

Sakura made her way to her room in a daze. She picked up her usual outfit and went to the bathroom, deciding that there would be no point in sleeping that night.

She needed to know what Naruto and Kakashi had talked about. She felt the desperate urge to know what the hell had happened.

* * *

Sakura, long past her work hours, curled up on her aged couch, her legs beneath her and her hands holding a book comfortably to her nose. Her eyes trailed the words with apt interest.

_He watched the blood dye the wide river, watched as the bodies floated or were pulled away by the current. He had shut down in shock and he knew that it was the only reason he wasn't as he friend was next to him, on his knees and crying. His fingers still gripped his katana tightly, nails digging into his flesh. His heart was calming and he was regaining his breath. It was so quiet, the rushing of the river and the Kenchi's sobs the only sounds surrounding him. Their other companions were all silent. _

_Makoto heard the crackle of dried leaves, felt the shift of swift movement, and was prepared when a small group of enemies came crashing through the brush, one tackling him to the ground. The blood that drenched him had caused his hold on his sword to slip, and it was now lying too far away for his use. His enemy had straddled him; large, hot hands wrapped around his throat. The squeezing was unbearable. His lungs were burning. His left hand gripped uselessly at his foe's wrists as his right pulled back in preparation. His blow connected with a flat nose, but his enemy refused to release him. Makoto pulled back and hit again and again, desperation and panic building in his chest. He felt his body beginning to jerk in struggle. _

_He hit again and brought his knee up to connect with his opponent's back. The hold on his neck broke and he pushed the body off of him, gasping in lungfulls of air. A dagger came down, driving deep into his left shoulder. He cried out in pain. His fingers finally found the hilt of his katana. He grabbed it, swinging it back clumsy but hard. It cut into his enemy's thin neck. He knew that he had severed the jugular. This man was going to be dead in minutes, given that he had not cut both the external and internal jugular veins. _

_He looked around to see that two more of his comrades had been murdered, along with Kenchi, whose gentle features were still twisted in fear and pain. _

_Makoto growled, knowing no other way to accurately express the feelings in his burning chest. Most of their enemies were dead, only a few suriving. He dropped his katana and rushed forward, snatching one who dared to pilgrimage through Kenchi's belongings. Blind with rage, he beat his opponent bare-handed. The blood on his knuckles eventually turned cold, but Makoto couldn't stop. Wide-eyed and shaking, he continued to pound against the dead body beneath him. _

Sakura shut the book abruptly. It was beginning to hit too close to home for her tastes. It made her think of her friends out in the war, some of whom would have broken the same way Makoto had. She didn't want to think of that, to picture it so perfectly in her mind. She didn't want to imagine Lee going through that, imagine him losing that innocence. Or Hinata, she gulped. Poor, sweet Hinata should never have been out there. Sakura made sure to push Hinata and the rest of her dear friends far out of her mind. She didn't want to contemplate this anymore. She didn't want to sink under the weight of her guilt. She should have been fighting with them. Saving lives as a medic was all good and well, but she was just as capable on the frontlines. Or so she hoped.

* * *

Sakura had spent her night wrapped in books (missing one night of sleep did little to hurt her), during which she had had a spark of recollection that she had left her clothes at Ino's apartment. Sighing, she glanced at the clock, quickly noting that she had hours before Ino would decide to call it a night, and got up to dress in something proper before locking up her apartment and heading out.

Ino lived relatively close. She was further away from the hospital than Sakura's apartment was located, but that only meant she was closer to Konoha's nightlife. Since it was a Sunday night, Sakura knew that Ino would be at home with a movie. Perhaps with a guy. But Ino was known to throw more than a few guys out on the call of an old friend. Sakura, being the best of her friends, was no exception. But luckily no guy was there when Ino answered the door, predictably dressed in scrapped pajamas and cradling a bag of popcorn in the crook of one arm. Blond eyebrows raised delicately. "'Sup?"

Sakura sighed. "Forgot my clothes," she explained.

"Oh, yeah. Come on in." Ino left the door open behind her as she went to fetch Sakura's bag. With another sigh, Sakura wondered why Ino never found the time to wear more than underwear on Sunday nights. She shut the door lazily.

Walking into modest living room, Sakura took in the paused television set. The blue light was the only thing illuminating the room. The kitchen around the corner offered some light, but Sakura flipped on the lights anyway. She sat on the couch comfortably. Ino came back with her bag hanging off her wrist and grinned before hopping onto the couch next to her. Sakura gave a quiet cough. "What?"

"We need to talk," Ino said in all seriousness.

"About what?"

"Hinata."

Sakura could have groaned. Ino was a gossip whore - and a real one - and while that was no secret, Sakura felt the abuse of being on the receiving end of it. "What now?"

"She's being courted by the Kazekage!" Ino gushed.

"Gaara?" Sakura sputtered. "Really?" Hinata was still traveling back and forth between Konoha and Suna, training the Suna medics.

"Yeah, I heard it from Temari when she came down to visit Shikamaru. They're doing great, by the way. She told me how Kankuro had nudged Gaara into it, but it seemed Gaara was ready enough. Hinata's really shy and Gaara's not much better, so it's a bit awkward. Temari said it's the cutest thing though. I just can't help but think about how Hinata's still hung up on Naruto. How awful is that? I mean, really."

"I kind of always figured she and Naruto would end up together," Sakura admitted. "I'm happy for them though, if it works out. Gaara deserves it and Hinata may get tired of waiting for Naruto."

"That's true," Ino acknowledged, nodding. "But, Sakura, aren't you worried about Naruto?"

"I say he had his chance."

"You're heartless," Ino accused as she passed the popcorn to Sakura, who in turn grabbed a mouthful. "I just think Naruto's sort of always depended on her to be there waiting for him. His life _is_ kind of hectic right now. Maybe he's just waiting for things to cool down before he settles?"

"Look, Ino, we're just speculating anyway. Who's to say Gaara or Hinata even get serious?"

"You're right, but I can just so see it happening."

"I know what you mean," Sakura mumbled. "Sad, isn't it?"

Ino leaned back. "_No_," she snorted.

"Hm?"

"What's so sad about being between two Kages?"

"Huh." Sakura thought about it for a moment. "_Damn_."

"Damn," Ino agreed. She broke into a light laughter. "Not so worried now, huh?"

"I'm worried about _us_."

"Hmph. We're better off. No Kages for the lowly."

Sakura smirked. "You'd have Gaara in a second."

"Have you _seen _his smile?"

"As a matter of fact, no. And you didn't even try to deny it."

"There's nothing to deny."

"Hn. What else have you heard, you nosy little freak?"

"I don't take kindly to the insult, but I heard that Tenten -"

There was a loud knock on the door. Sakura shifted in her seat to look at it. The sound repeated itself. She glanced back at Ino, frowning. "You're going to make me answer it, aren't you?"

Ino grinned.

With a huff, Sakura heaved herself off the couch, throwing the popcorn back to Ino, and cast a peek through the peephole before opening the door to a tall, dark-haired Anbu. "Sir?"

"Haruno Sakura?" the man questioned.

"Yes, that's me."

"The Hokage would like to see you."

"Immediately?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Sakura frowned. "Will you be escorting me?"

"No, I have other matters to attend to. However, please do not take that as a sign of leisure."

Sakura nodded. "I won't. Thank you."

The soldier left and Sakura turned back to face Ino, who seemed to have shifted into a position to accent her curves. Sakura rolled her eyes. "I gotta go."

"Sure thing." Ino tossed her the bag with her belongings in it. "I'll catch you later."

* * *

She now stood in the Hokage's office, her hands respectfully at her sides and her eyes meekly on the floor. She was still worried about what he and Kakashi had discussed, but she was uncertain and refrained from asking questions. She didn't want to be rough with Naruto, and she knew that if she allowed herself to speak freely she would end up doing just that.

"Sakura."

"Sir?"

"I'm relieving you of your duties."

Sakura tensed, rigid. Her eyes shot up to her leader's dark face, his deep blue eyes. "What?"

"Not completely, of course," Naruto retracted. "Not even permanently. This will be a very short break. A week, maybe. I have a mission for you. Or, more precisely, a mission which would likely go very smoothly with a talented, capable medic. We're running low, as you know, on well-trained staff. You're one of the few I trust and depend on, so I'm reluctant to let you leave." He was quiet for a moment. "You were requested, however, and I trust this man's opinion better than I do my own."

"Who is it?" she asked.

"Our old sensei, Hatake Kakashi."

Well, that was surprising. "Oh. Do you know why he requested me?"

"Sakura, there isn't a better suited person in this village. Kakashi-sensei knows what he's doing. He wouldn't do or say something needlessly."

But that didn't explain Kakashi's behavior that morning. Why would he have been so tense? If it had to do with this mission and her being included in the squad, why wouldn't he have just told her so? Kakashi was definitely someone who would sacrifice for the greater good (given that he would be sacrificing himself), so she supposed adding her to the mission - if the mission was indeed what had had him so riled up - would be perfectly believable. "What does the mission entail?"

"It's an attack," Naruto told her. "It's a little underhanded, mind you, but it's necessary. You'll heading out with Kakashi's Anbu squad to assassinate an enemy General and his followers. I want _no witnesses_. No one is to know that Konoha had anything to do with it."

"And why would a medic be so important to such a mission?" she inquired.

"This General has a very specific, very rare kekkei-genkai. It would be useful if we could get our hands on it."

"So this mission is to steal a kekkei-genkai?"

"No, the greater importance of the mission is the assassination itself. I want you along for the ride to try to obtain the bloodline trait anyway. We need to know what it was and what it did."

"Sir, is this for research purposes then?"

"It's a little bit of everything, I suppose."

"I understand," Sakura answered, bowing politely.

"Sakura, during the mission I'd also like you to observe Kakashi."

"Sir? Are you worried for him or do you not trust him?" she tested.

"I'm not sure," Naruto murmured, leaning forward to touch his chin to his hands. "Five years is a long time, Sakura. Kakashi's story easily checks out. I believe him, in any case. Sensei would have killed himself long before the enemy ever could corrupt him. Even so, it's still possible that he was swayed. I don't want to be too accepting. Precautions are never a bad thing." He sighed. "But yes, I'm worried. He's been doing very well without his sharingan, and he even showed no interest in obtaining a new one."

Sakura nodded mutely. She knew that Naruto had sharingans to spare. She refused to ask him if he had shown that collection to Kakashi.

"Do you know that reason for that?" Naruto asked.

"No, sir."

"Kakashi's sharingan wasn't anything that he ever wanted. It was given to him by a friend."

"How do you know this?"

"I've read the records, Sakura. Kakashi's background is extensive. Ever since he was born people have been keeping tabs on him. It was because of his father, you know."

"Hatake Sakumo," Sakura answered automatically.

"Yes. You remember the name from Chiyo-sama, correct?"

"Yes."

Naruto sat back in his chair. "I'm not at liberty to disclose the full story behind that man. In fact, most of _his_ records have been destroyed."

"What does this have to do with Kakashi?"

"Don't you think that it's unusual for someone as reknown as Kakashi-sensei's father to have an erased past?"

"I guess," Sakura allowed.

"It's because he was shamed, Sakura. Thrown into dishonor and hated by everyone." Naruto looked down, smiling slightly, sadly. "I've already told you far too much. But, Sakura, don't you think the child of such a man would have more than enough reason to habor negative feelings towards this village?"

"You can't be implying that-!"

"I'm implying nothing," Naruto interrupted shortly. "I'm just saying be careful."

Sakura couldn't help the heat of her gaze. She tried forcing her voice to not sound hard. "You just said that you trust him," she argued. "You said that you take his word and his judgement without question. So tell me, if you said that why would you follow that up with evidence of distrust?"

Naruto smiled at her. "That's one of the reasons why I'm sending you on this mission," he explained, almost grinning. "You'll be perfect for it."

"I can tell you right here and now that Kakashi is loyal."

"I'm not arguing with you. You have several other tasks to complete on this mission. I'll be looking forward to your final report."

"Sir." She bowed once more before leaving.

Naruto couldn't possibly be serious. And the way he talked about Kakashi! Sakura could fully understand his standpoint on the situation, but she was still seething. Figuring she still had at least a day before Kakashi's return, she rushed home with no intention of beginning to pack. When she had locked the door behind her and cut on her kitchen light, she quickly realized that the night was bearing down on her. She cut the light and went straight to her room, her eyes avoiding Kakashi's bedroom door, and dropped her bag of clothes at the foot of her bed before she crawled underneath her blanket. Curling into herself, she closed her eyes and tried hard not to think about anything Naruto had said.

It was easier than it should have been. Her thoughts rained with senseless dribble, useless information, and half forgotten memories. Anything to keep her mind occupied until she passed out.

* * *

Morning. Sakura tugged the comb through her damp hair once again, staring hard at her reflection in her bathroom mirror. Her towel was wrapped securely around her waist, despite Kakashi not being home, and the bathroom door was shut. She brushed through her hair again. The locks beneath her fingertips felt like thick silk. The candy pink of her hair highlighted the flush in her cheeks from the heat of her shower. She fisted her hand in it. "What are you going to do?" she asked herself quietly. Sighing, she released her hair and dropped the comb in the sink. "This is stupid."

It was. Kakashi was no traitor and his health was fine. The man could recover from just about anything. That just left the mission to worry about, which wasn't that worrisome as it would be more of a vacation for Sakura than anything else. She leaned against the sink for a few moments, listening to the soft sound of her own breathing and the steady beat of her heart before making her way to her room and beginning to pack. She would talk to Kakashi when he returned. And she would rail into Naruto once the mission had given her enough confidence to do so.


	4. Another Kind Of Love

A/N: Slowly but surely, a plot has formed.

* * *

Stand Or Fall

Chapter Four: Another Kind of Love

"But I don't read or listen for pleasure. I have too much else to do." - Piers Anthony

* * *

Guilty or not for being a sloth, she should _not_ have had to be stuck out in the heat for _hours_. There was no shade around. In the Suna desert, noon seemed to last for hours. It was fucking ridiculous. In Konoha, _her _shadow had a shadow. And that shadow was an ungrateful little bastard.

Temari marched back, her stomps leaving footprints in the desert earth, to her brother's office. Her _feet_ were sweating, the stinky liquid grossly between her toes. That was the least important place sweat was. Kankuro was wandering around, being utterly useless, and so she was bound to run into him. His hat was off, his brown hair open to all view, and his makeup was perfect. _He_ wasn't sweating at all. And therefore did not smell. "Move it," Temari ground out.

He grinned at her and made a hand gesture as he stepped out of her way.

As expected, Gaara was in his office with Hinata, under the guise of an extensive report. Gaara wasn't in his robes - he had stopped wearing them almost altogether since the start of the war - and he was resting his chin in his hand as Hinata prattled on about the children recovering in the hospital. Hinata was dressed appropriately for a head doctor, but her slightly blushing cheeks and unsure smile wasn't the confidence that Temari always associated with the head of anything.

Temari took back what she had said to Ino. It wasn't cute. It was fucking annoying.

Gaara looked up at his older sister, catching his brother inaudibly chuckling in the door way. She must not have been in a very good mood. Too bad. "How was the team?"

"The Konoha shinobi? They're fine. A few broken bones, a couple scars - nothing that won't heal," Temari answered with a frown. She crossed her arms, shifting all of her weight onto one leg. The squad had been ambushed at the border on their way to Suna. "You'd think they be up and running again."

"You didn't bring them back with you," he stated, pointing out the painfully obvious.

Her frown deepened and her eyebrows pulled down. "They refused to come. One of them is too bad to move. I suggested leaving half the team and taking the other half with me, saying we'd send a squad and a medic back for the others. They all refused." There was no reaction to her contradiction of the squad's status; the siblings were all too used to it.

"Hn. Our allies are difficult," Gaara said softly.

"That's putting it lightly!"

"What's the squad leader's name?"

"He was one of those Rookie Nine from the Chunin Exams. Uh, Aburame Shino, I think."

"Very well." Gaara picked up a file, pulling open a drawer and retrieving a pen. "You'll be leading a squad out to rescue them."

Temari's nose raised distastefully. Despite having lived in the desert her entire life, she had no wish to spend more time than necessary under its heat. "Send Kankuro."

"No, you'll be going. You know where the team is, you know who they are, and they've had contact with you already. It's easier this way. Hinata and Kankuro will accompany you, if you like."

"No, that won't be necessary." She was hasty to answer. As much as she loved her brother, she couldn't bear his company.

"Just Hinata then," Gaara concluded, taking pen to paper. "Temari," he said while writing, "I'd like you to be back shortly. The most I can give you is two days."

"That's fine," she replied, sighing softly.

* * *

Sakura was at the hospital working when Kakashi got back to the village. Strangely, he came to meet her. She had a clip board in her arms, a pen tucked behind her ear, her hair up in a bun to keep it out of the way, and some new blood stains on her skirt. He was still wearing his Anbu uniform, his tattoo boldly noticeable. She scolded him on wearing such a thing here, making himself a target. He shrugged her off, reaching behind him to pull off a pouch and quietly hand it over to her. "Anbu," he explained. "It's your uniform for the mission."

"Right," she said a little breathlessly as she took it from him. She gave him a small smile.

He either ignored it or wasn't bothered to return it. "When will you be home?"

"Late tonight," she answered. Ino had started taking the night shift. She took over until Sakura arrived back in the morning. Sakura wondered how things would work out in her absence.

Kakashi told her, "We're leaving tomorrow morning."

Sakura nodded her acknowledgment. "That's fine."

Kakashi broke into a tender grin. "It will be. You need to stop worrying."

"You're right."

"I always am."

"No, you're not."

He pouted. "I'm your captain now. I say I'm always right."

"You abuse your power."

"Freely."

* * *

_24 October_

_As serious as it all seems, nothing ever makes complete sense. Reality is more twisted than fiction, even when fiction twists reality. Humans throw themselves into ideas and logic. Humans show more evil than Hell's minions. And yet humans then give compassion and love unmatched. Animals - simplistic and complex - giving what they have and taking everything that they don't._

_It's strange how the line of one's mouth or sharpness of one's eyes can show their mind and their heart. Defining a person's soul has never been so easy. The tone of a friend's words or the touch of a beloved can heal someone so deeply that their lives are changed. What sense does that make? Why does crying cleanse someone's heart, bring ease to them? How can a broken spirit kill someone?_

_We all rot in our graves at the end. And that reality is more haunting than any work of fiction. _

Naruto put down the scroll shakily. He had been reading through several journals from the past. In the last great war, Sarutobi had requested that certain individuals make regular journals entries during their servitude. He had read through two dead heroes, but neither of them managed to shake him. He didn't know them. He knew Kakashi. His mouth pressed into a hard line. "He was a _child_," he hissed quietly to himself. A child fighting in a war. A child _winning_ a war. Of course he knew why Sarutobi had had these journals recorded. He wanted to know the minds of the next generation of potential Hokages, so that Minato would be able to faithfully decide upon his successor. "But he was just thirteen," Naruto wanted to argue.

He had read the passages of terrified words, the bloodstained fingerprints staring up at him harshly. Most times the descriptions were dry and short, but sometimes Naruto could feel the trembling fingers that had scribbled these horrible words; he could feel the stirrings of panic and disaster. Those were less common in Kakashi's journal. Most of the entries were written calmly - just records of what had been done, nothing more.

Kakashi spoke of his own breakdowns in the strangest ways. He never mentioned himself. He talked in general tones. The moments where he used himself directly were written sloppily, in a rush, and were fast, tripping over words and fears and anguish.

Naruto knew that the journal would stop, the page would go blank where Kakashi had been imprisoned. There was nothing after that. He couldn't help but wonder what Sarutobi had thought reading this. He wondered if his opinion was shared - if, somehow, Sarutobi had also known that Kakashi was an individual, a broken _thing_, and that by ruling this village he would either destroy it or he would bring it to power and prosperity. Apparently those who had read the journal had thought better than to take the chance.

He rolled the scroll up slowly, his mind reeling. He placed it back in his pouch and leaned forward on his desk, his hands covering his mouth. His sensei's youth was not the most pressing matter to attend to. There was evidence of an attack being planned on the western border. And then there was also the matter of the village council pressuring him to arrange a suitable marriage between the Kazekage and the Hyuuga heir, if they were both to accept. It would certainly be beneficial having Gaara and Hinata married. The alliance would be even more securely in place. And with Hinata in Sunagakure, Neji would be free to take the reigns of the clan.

Without thinking, Naruto reached a hand back into his pouch and pulled out another scroll. This one was just as faded and old as Kakashi's. He opened it up gingerly.

_Namikaze Minato_

* * *

Sakura shifted uncomfortably in her temporarily assigned Anbu uniform. She felt awkward wearing it, having not earned it. It was the attire of the elite, and while her self-esteem wasn't so low as to cause her to think that she didn't deserve to don the uniform, her pride was aching with a quiet guilt. Kakashi was packing. He told her that she was being stupid. Well, he _said_ silly. "Are you done yet?"

No head came peeking out of his closet this time. "I already told you. _Almost_."

"What are you packing anyway?" she questioned. "The most you'll need is an extra uniform and your weapons. And why didn't you pack last night?"

He ignored her last question, avoiding the impending (useless) lecture. "We'll be gone for a week. I want clean clothes, too." She heard a sigh. "Besides, I bought a civilian outfit as well. You did pack one, correct?"

"Two." She felt insulted that he had to ask.

"Good," he approved.

"Will this mission be difficult?"

"Not likely. I've done this a thousand times, Sakura. The assassination will be easy. Well, most likely, anyways. The kekkei-genkai deal I've never really understood. If you've got that under wraps, I don't think we'll have a problem though."

"Right," she murmured. "So, you've been on missions to retrieve kekkei-genkai before?"

"Hm? Yeah, that's right." He emerged from the dark closet. "Done," he declared.

Sakura nodded. "All right then," she said, smiling, "introduce me to your team."

"Not necessary. You already know most of them."

"I do?"

"Yes."

He looked at her like it was a no-brainer. She suddenly felt very uninformed and childish. "Why didn't I know this?"

He grinned. "You never asked."

"Jerk," she grunted, tossing her pack over one shoulder to match him and quickly turning on her heels to march out of the room. She didn't have to look back to see that he wasn't following her, too busy laughing at her and setting up the apartment for vacancy.

* * *

A week or so of travel and they were nearing Port City, taking a boat from the docks of Tea Country to reach Jiro Island, where there mission would ultimately take place.

Sakura was appropriately surprised to find that Kakashi was leading both Neji and Kiba. She had honestly figured that Naruto would have wanted to separate teams into more evenly powered divisions. But then, of course, Kakashi was always an exception to that rule. He had talked Naruto into giving him a team that would (likely) always be successful in their mission. They had yet to fail one, and they had done so with zero casualties and minor injuries. It was impressive to say the least.

Their fourth member was a man slightly older than Neji. His name was Kei and he had all the potential to become a great shinobi. He was a specialist in doton jutsu and could hold his own against Kiba in any and all taijutsu sparring sessions. Sakura's impression was him was simple: he was kind of like Kakashi, only he could loosen up just a bit more when he decided to play.

Everyone in the team seemed to be very loyal to Kakashi. They followed him obediently and accepted him as their commander without question. They even seemed eager to have him. Sakura could not help but to think back to the years when Kakashi had led her. She supposed loyalty to him was a given, once you trusted him and saw what he was about and what he did. She readjusted her pack as she jumped off another branch, catapulting herself through the trees behind her team.

She was surprised to know that they didn't travel in any specific order. But then again, they didn't have to. It would be difficult beyond reason to ambush them. Over half the team was trained for tracking and vigilance. _She_ was least useful in that area. Thankfully she made up for it by being the only medic in the squad. Wait, that was strange. She kicked the branch a little harder, catching up to Kakashi. He looked back at her with raised eyebrows. "This team didn't have a medic," she stated. A team of such strong, prominent ninja should have been protected.

He smiled. "Sakura, we're in the middle of a war. Why waste a medic on a unit that doesn't need one?"

"What if someone got hurt? I mean, like really hurt?"

"Fatal?" He touched a finger to his chin. "Well, I guess he'd die." Kakashi jumped again, not really paying attention and executing a force that had him pushing a little ahead of her.

"You wouldn't let that happen," she argued.

Kakashi gave a sigh. "Sakura, I don't need a lecture."

"Yeah, the taichou hates that," Kiba said, his mouth twisted mockingly. "He can't stand people lower than him -"

"Not true," Kakashi interrupted. "I just don't like people telling me things that _I already know_. There's a difference."

"You two not get along?" Sakura inquired, faintly amused with the idea of Kakashi bickering with one of his subordinates.

Kakashi looked at her strangely. "We get along just fine. Why do you ask?"

He seemed too defensive and too unthinking for Sakura not to laugh at his expense. "No reason."

He studied her for a moment before turning his attention back to the front. "Neji, how far are we from the dock?"

"We've still got some distance to cover," came the answer.

Kakashi frowned. Sakura's head tilted and she smiled teasingly. "Do you not like my company?"

"You're company is fine," he replied. He didn't seem to be paying her any mind, like he was preoccupied with something of greater importance. Usually Sakura would drop it at that, but right then she couldn't really wrap her head around what could possibly be in need of Kakashi's uninterrupted attention.

She smirked. "Huh. You really mean it?"

Kakashi sighed. "Sakura, from now on every time I say something, how about you just take for granted that I'm being honest?"

"But you're not always honest." Sakura said it before she realized that Kiba had opened his mouth to state the same. She shot him a smile, suddenly feeling a bit closer to her wild comrade.

Kakashi nodded. "That's why I said to take it for granted."

The dock was a wet and grey place when they arrived, just on the edge of the wide sea. There was a sizable ship in port, not at all the 'boat' Sakura had conjured up, with a few men scattered on its deck, checking for damage and making small repairs. There were three men standing just outside a small shambled shack, one of which looked up to shamelessly watch them all approach, no hint of civility in his pale green eyes. Two of the men were old, wrinkled and rough. The youngest of them was middle aged and thick, taller than even Kiba. They all appeared to have beards, but as Sakura approached she found that the one with slick white hair was just sporting some impressive stubble.

Kakashi stopped, the team coming to a halt behind him, and he turned to speak softly to Neji. He told them to wait for him and keep quiet. "Stay put."

Neji gave no response but appeared to be in understanding. Kakashi quickly turned away from them and made his way slowly, cautiously sluggish, over to the quieted men. He wasn't the first to speak, and Sakura, while unable to make out the exact words of the hunched, gruff man, was clearly able to sense the rude way which he addressed her former sensei.

"Bastards," Kiba growled. Looking up at him, Sakura saw a deeply insulted look on his face. His cheeks were red in outrage. She couldn't help but to smile softly, pleased that Kiba took such offense to abuse that wasn't even his to bear. A glance at Neji and Kei told her that from the sharpness in their eyes they felt similar reactions. When her attention turned back to Kakashi, she saw him holding his arms wide in an open display, saw the way he was gently pressing the men. A moment later she realized that he could just have easily taken the less troubling route and given them bold information of who they were and demanded that they promptly comply with the prearranged transportation. Suddenly aware of how weird it was that Kakashi seemed the least intimidating person in the team, Sakura shifted her weight awkwardly.

A moment later Kakashi was trotting back to them. He grinned victoriously. Neji offered a small smile in return, Kei gave no response, and Kiba was still busy with glaring at the backs of the three men. Sakura sighed and wondered what sort of team she had been thrust into, but then she felt Kakashi's hand on her shoulder, urging her towards the dock. "We're leaving immediately," he informed her lowly.

"You should have put them in their place," she heard Kiba say, his voice almost as gruff as the ship workers'. "They would have deserved it."

"Be that as it may," Neji piped, "it would have made things unnecessarily difficult."

Neji was close enough for her to see clearly, and Sakura wondered at the obvious disappointment in the down turn of his lips. She turned to look at Kakashi, who's eyes caught hers in a friendly, exasperated way. He smiled. "No rest for the weary."

She snorted, bemused. She was about to say 'Rest is for the respected', but quickly stopped herself, wondering how that would effect her relationship with the team. Instead she opted for a quick, "Come on."

Kakashi gave her a weak smile and trailed behind her.

It took less than two minutes altogether before they were all onboard. Just as soon as everyone had been divided into rooms and set down their belongings, they were moving.

* * *

It was the afternoon. In the lower sections of the boat light only came from the lamps that hung in the hallways and inside the rooms. Sakura sat on her bed. She was on the bottom bunk. Across from her, Kiba laid on his bottom and Kei was napping on top. Kakashi and Neji were sharing the room next to theirs.

"It's pretty cold," she mumbled, rubbing her arms and trying hard to suppress a shiver.

"You brought some more clothes. Throw a layer on," Kiba grunted.

Sakura frowned and unfolded the blanket that had been set on the end of her bed. She wrapped it around her shoulders and leaned back against the wall behind her, closing her eyes and pointing her face upwards. Kiba fell quiet. Sakura started humming. She realized that it was the same tune that she had heard Kakashi humming several times before. She was almost surprised to learn that she regretted never listening long enough to hear it finished.

The crack of thunder echoed behind her. Suddenly her ears picked up the sound of rain. She groaned. "What the hell?"

Kiba sniffed the air gingerly. "Looks like we ran right into it."

"Well damn."

"I second that," Kei said from his high perch. Sakura saw him roll over, catching a glance of his features twisted sickly. Her nose turned up. "Sea sickness," he explained.

Ah. Of course. Sakura turned back to Kiba, who hadn't moved, arms still tucked behind his head. "I'm going to go see the taichou," she announced.

Kiba raised an eyebrow but he didn't object.

The door made a metallic click as she shut it behind her. Kakashi's room was only a few steps to her right. She entered quickly, oddly relieved to see that Neji was absent. She noted that the room was smaller than hers, less casual and more necessary than anything else, and that Kakashi was lounging atop the lower bunk, one arm tucked behind his head, the other angling _Icha Icha_ close to his nose. She raised one eyebrow and smiled tentatively. "I didn't know you still had that thing."

Kakashi looked up at her lazily over its cover. "I don't read it much," he answered dryly.

"Hm." Sakura stepped inside the room, turning back slightly to debate whether or not to shut the door. She pulled it, leaving a crack open. Glancing back she found Kakashi frowning at her, glaring at the door. With a sigh made almost of relief, she yanked it shut. She walked over to the side of the bunk, ducking her head slightly to see him sitting up. "We need to talk."

"You want details on the mission," he guessed, "as well as a status report on the storm."

She nodded mutely. Kakashi made a sound as he shut his book and laid it in his lap, legs crossed to give her room to sit on the other end. He pointed at the open space and gestured for her to take a seat. She did so, seeing as there was no chair anywhere in the room. She stared back at him expectantly.

Kakashi shrugged her off. "What were you told?"

"That there's a General with a kekkei-genkai and that it's my mission to obtain information on it and a sample, if possible, as well as assist your team as need be."

Kakashi nodded. "That's all true, mostly. The kekkei-genkai is...an experiment, really. It's something new, something different. Sort of like what Orochimaru was doing, years ago. Tenzou was a result of one of his experiments. You can see why Naruto would be concerned if something did turn out successful." He added almost as an after thought, "And we don't need the extra help."

"I don't get it. I thought when problems like this arose we just exterminated it."

"Usually we do," Kakashi answered with a shrug. "But then again, most aren't successful. Naruto's being cautious. Can you really blame him?"

"And the General?"

"He's orchestrating it," he explained. "Not well, but he has a competent team behind him."

"Okay, so the General has the kekkei-genkai? Why would he allow them to experiment on _him_?"

"He didn't."

Sakura didn't like the way Kakashi was looking at her like she was missing something. "So he put it in other people. What?"

"From what we've gathered, General Yasuhito doesn't _want_ it."

Sakura's brow pulled in confusion. She shook it off. "So we'll be dealing with his soldiers?"

Kakashi sighed and leaned back, fingered a frayed edge of _Icha Icha_'s gaudy orange cover. "There were only two cases recorded that hinted at a new kekkei-genkai. Both cases were children."

Something in Sakura chilled. "Children?" she echoed. "But...do you think that maybe it was just coincidence, that not all the subjects are kids?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Tenzou was a child when it happened to him. My guess is that the genes are more cooperative when the patient isn't fully developed. I could be wrong, but I've never done the research myself."

Sakura was momentarily taken aback. If Kakashi ever did do the 'research' himself, the experiments and calculations, there was no doubt in her mind that he would find something note worthy. He wasn't exactly the bumbling idiot, and he certainly wasn't a likely person to fail. She swallowed hard. "So?"

Kakashi's jaw twitched slightly, and Sakura recognized it as him resisting the urge to cringe. "We won't be leaving anything behind," he stated.

Sakura nodded slowly. "Of course," she replied absently, staring at the thin, pale blanket crinkled beneath them. They wouldn't be permitted to leave evidence. They were wiping it clean after all. She smiled bitterly. "It's not part of _my_ mission," she said, "but it's a big part of yours."

Kakashi didn't answer her. His only reaction was a barely notable slouch in his shoulders.

"I understand," Sakura said tightly.

"I won't get you involved," Kakashi vowed.

When she didn't respond, her eyes still trained on the coverlet, Kakashi reached out and touched her shoulder. She ignored him, and, lacking the motivation to press her further, he reopened his book and leaned back, eyes quickly scanning the page to recover his place. He didn't know how long she sat like that or how many pages flipped by in the passing time, but soon Neji was pulling the door back, two brown paper bags smelling strongly of fried fish in his hand. Sakura finally looked up. She regarded him for a moment, as he did her. "I left your food in the other room," he told her.

She stood up, muttering a soft thanks before making her way out of the door. She turned back to look at Kakashi, quickly asking, "What does this mission have to do with the war?"

"The General is an Ame soldier," he shot back unblinkingly. Sakura gave a curt not and left.

Neji stared back at him in question. Kakashi shrugged, taking the bag offered to him. Neji sat down where Sakura had been seated and opened his bag with much less enthusiasm than his companion, his nose turned up. He looked back at Kakashi, who only noticed him with a quiet surprise and a mouthful of fish. "That's nasty. I expected someone with a strong sense of smell to be opposed to such...culinary catastrophes."

Kakashi picked a few bones out of his mouth before he swallowed. "I don't mind much," he answered. He took a small bite, talking out of the side of his mouth. "I'm sure if you check up on Kiba you'll find something similar."

Neji watched him in mild distaste, obviously disapproving of his absence of manners. "Frightening," Neji said softly, poking at one of the thick fish in his lap, disgusted when a spurt of grease sputtered out.

Kakashi pursed his lips. "That's oddly immature of you," he noted.

"I hate fish," Neji answered simply.

"You're weird," he mumbled as he ripped off the flesh from the right side of a poor fish, taking it cleanly from its bone. "It's healthy."

"Not likely," Neji said as he eyed the grease leaking onto his lap with a heavy sigh.

* * *

They were stuck in an office with their little red-headed younger brother. _Somehow_ Kankuro had ended up joining her in the rescue. They had arrived back with their team from the mission - early - and were waiting as Gaara read over their reports. Successful. The entire squad of Konoha shinobi had been brought back, not a single one dead. That Shino guy was recovering from his fatigue and was being arranged to be escorted back to Konoha immediately to report directly to his Hokage.

Temari sucked her lips to give an audible '_pop_', catching Kankuro's wavering attention. _Something wrong?_

He grinned at her and raised his index finger to touch his temple.

Temari frowned. She had forgotten what that meant. Despite the little jab at her pride, she scratched her chin. _What?_

Kankuro sighed. He puckered his lips.

They had made several 'signals' as to not attract Gaara's attention when they wanted to gossip and he was nearby. Even though _that _wasn't one of their signals, Temari knew damn well what her brother was implying. She felt a rise of panic in her chest and she gave him the signal to stop, repeating it wildly.

Gaara's eyes turned up to her slowly, a morbid curiosity behind them. Temari smiled back at him awkwardly, hoping fervently that her embarrassment was not displayed on her cheeks despite the fact that she felt her ears and the back of her neck burning.

She heard Kankuro snickering next to her and knew that he had also caught sight of the missed button.

* * *

A/N: Love me some sand sibs.


	5. Sighting

A/N: Yay, it's another chapter! Dun, dun, dun...

* * *

Stand Or Fall

Chapter Five: Sighting

"If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience." - Robert Fulghum

* * *

"Hey, where's Akamaru?" Sakura asked as they stepped off of the boat, adjusting the loosened strap of her much abused pack. They were waiting as Pakkun pointed out the direction in which the General had gone upon arrival. They were under the assumption that he would have been traveling back and forth with preparations and precautions to what he was doing.

Kiba regarded her quietly. "He got too big and it got too inconvenient to have him around. Kakashi-sensei helped me and we ultimately ended up forming a summoning scroll for me to call on him."

"You called him sensei," Sakura pointed out. She was a little amused at the way the title sounded more of affection than formality.

His only reply was, "I know."

Sakura looked back to the pug bent closely to the ground, sniffing and breathing deeply. Pakkun was not a good looking dog by any means, and he was such an ugly thing in comparison to Akamaru's white coat and playful nature. She sighed. "I just thought that he'd be better for this than a pug."

"He would," Kiba answered.

"Would _you _be?"

"Not as much as Akamaru, but I think I'd manage better than this pup."

Kakashi finally took notice, casting them a bit of a glare in protection of his pet. He didn't seem too serious about it, knowing the truth behind their words and the friendship that they shared with Pakkun, and he kneeled down to squat before his pet. "Find anything? Which way is it?"

"North," Pakkun answered finally in his gravel-broken voice. "It's faint though."

"He was reported back two weeks ago and there's no telling how often he comes here, so I'm not surprised." He gave a soft sigh, looking up at his team. "We'll scout for a while, get the layout. We're not expected back for a week, and I want this done carefully." Pakkun was released with a small puff of smoke. Kakashi stood up gracefully. "I'll find us some residence. Neji and Kiba, you're to have a look around. I want a perimeter around this village. The General is said to be located around fifteen miles away. I want a ten mile perimeter."

Sakura stared at him unbelievingly. "Ten _miles_?"

He cast her a glance. "Got a problem with that?"

She immediately clamed up, embarrassed to be so obviously out of her element and out of their league.

"No," she grunted.

"Good then. Sakura and Kei, you two go start asking the locals some questions. Find out what you can." He looked down at her again. "I'm going with the assumption that I don't have to tell you to dress in your spare civilian outfit."

She glared up at him. Was he trying to humiliate her? "No, you don't," she said tightly.

"All right. Head out. We meet back here in two hours."

* * *

The place was small and for the most part untouched by the war. A tiny village really, with decent people and the strange southern accent of Tea Country. Sakura didn't know if Kakashi wanted the townsfolk to know they were foreign or not, but she decided that it was better if no one ever heard her poor attempts at imitating their loose tongues, or so she presumed that's what granted them the slur with which they spoke.

They didn't know much. She asked about the General and if there were any strange children around, picking straws for answers. She gathered that the majority were aware of a compound and a few had even caught sight of what seemed to be unordinary children. Black hair, white irises, tan skin. Only a few people had even noticed, and even then they only noticed because there were several of them playing together in a group. It seemed that the children were mostly kept away from the village, rarely ever appearing, and usually without a guardian.

Sakura made her way back to the meeting point, finding Kakashi perched high on a tree some distance near. She decided not to bother him, waiting the remainder of the free slotted time in quiet peace. It didn't take long. Kakashi finally dragged himself over to them after everyone had arrived, lacking his luggage. He was dressed in his civilian clothes, plain and mostly boring, and it looked so very odd on him, so out of place with his personality. His face managed to give the look a sort of humble charm, and Sakura was surprised to find that he could easily make the guise work for him. Sakura ignored him, turning to Neji. "The perimeter's ready?" she questioned in awe.

"Not quite," he admitted. "It's just a preliminary thing, a setup. We'll be going back to work on it more after we drop our stuff off at the hotel."

"Two hours to get a couple hotel rooms is ridiculous," she said, shifting her attention back to her former sensei and aiming the comment at him directly.

He shot her a look of challenge but didn't act on it, giving a once over of everyone before telling the boys to quickly dress 'civilian-style.'

Kakashi waved his hand for them to follow. He led them to the other side of the small town, to a one story brick building that seemed to maintain a decent income. There was a young brunette at the reception desk. She had dark brown eyes and a noticeable coating of freckles lining her cheeks. Kakashi sent a smile her way as he led them through the lobby. The girl blushed, flustered and demure. Sakura was irked. What was he doing flirting?

Kakashi had rented out two rooms, each double bedded, and simply walked into one of them, leaving his companions free to choose how they would divide. When no one moved, Sakura stuck her head inside Kakashi's room to glare at him as he cut on a small lamp positioned on a mutual bedside table, which then spilled out a rich golden light, illuminating more of the room. "Hey, there are five of us."

"There's a couch in the other room," he informed her.

She looked behind her to see Kiba already entering the opposite room. Sakura stepped inside, shutting the door behind her. She didn't offer any explanation other than, "I'm not sleeping on a couch."

Kakashi didn't seem to really care. He shrugged. "It's not such an awful place to sleep."

Suddenly very guilty for having momentarily forgotten his five year torture, Sakura made her way to the unruffled bed without another word. She assumed it as hers, laying her bag on it and spilling her extra weapons and materials out on its cover. Kakashi ignored her for the most part as she began to put away her things, something he never did. She only took notice of him again when he got up and made his way to the bathroom, an addition Sakura hadn't even realized was there. Of course it was, most hotels have bathrooms attached. She felt dumb for not noticing, especially when, after a week of travel, she felt so desperate to cleanse herself.

Kakashi beat her to it. She heard the sound of running water and mentally cursed her absence of mind. If Kakashi had nothing better to do than lay on a bed and stare at a ceiling before randomly deciding to shower, then at least this mission was looking easier. Sakura wondered what the difficultly level of the mission was officially. She hadn't been informed and it was nagged at her. A-class or S-class? Was it such a hard answer?

Sighing softly, she unzipped the second compartment of her pack and pulled out the scrolls and two journals she had brought with her, one for use specifically dealing with what she learned of the kekkei-genkai. She flipped it open and grabbed the attached pen, quickly making note of the day arrived and what she had learned. Children with black hair, white eyes, and tan skin were suspect, found odd by the villagers. She put the put the pen back and set the book down before gathering up the scrolls and storing them in one of the two empty drawers of the dresser. Normally she would have expected a television to be sitting on top of it, but she gathered that Kakashi deemed that sort of thing highly unnecessary and requested a room lacking one. She'd be willing to bet that Neji and the others had a television in their room. Sakura pealed open the top drawer and began pulling out her night clothes. She was almost ashamed to say that she had five outfits in her dainty travel closet, knowing that at best her teammates carried three. She grabbed a bottle of shampoo and a block of soap from the top of the dresser.

The door of the bathroom opened, steam pouring out, and Kakashi emerged with his head ducked low, hair spilling down his cheeks, pushed back impatiently. He held a towel around his waist, another draped over his wide shoulders. Sakura was happy to see that Kakashi had fully regained his figure since his return, and also a little peeved at the way the towel hung low on his hips and was held tight enough that she could clearly make out the shadow of shapes. She cleared her throat intently, trying hard to distract herself from the way Kakashi's skin was flushed with heat. She'd often seen that pinkish color, but outside their shared apartment it was a little unsettling.

Kakashi's eyes finally rose from the floor, finding hers in a heartbeat. He smiled at her, genuine and charming, but didn't say anything. Sakura was unnerved, not quite so confident when she didn't have his room to rush him into - not that Kakashi was a bad sight nearly nude, just the opposite actually. That was the problem. Sakura didn't want to think about being attracted to Kakashi. It was weird. "I hope you didn't use all the hot water," she said. "I want to take a shower."

He turned his head to regard the steam pouring out with lackluster amusement. Sakura's eyes were trained on where his hand was clutched and tightening around his towel. "I think you'll be fine," he said. He looked back at her, smirking. "Don't burn yourself."

She imagined a double edge to his words, fearful that he had caught her staring. Indignation and anger at his teasing roared up in her again, and she snatched her clothes up without really looking at them. She tucked them under her arm and marched towards him, gaining little satisfaction when he readily stepped out of her way. He glanced down at her clothes before giving a devilishly cheeky smirk, commenting, "Nice panties."

With an unwilling blush she peeked down to see her frilly black panties sticking out from between her large white shirt and black shorts. With a huff, embarrassed to speechlessness, she quickly made her escape to the bathroom, sealing the door shut behind her. She pressed her back to the damp wood, willing her heart to slow down from its exertion at her humiliation and resultant rage. She was a grown woman, matured and masterful. Why was it that he could get beneath her skin so easily? When she had finally succeeded in calming herself, she pushed herself up and appraised the bathroom.

It was awfully small, she noticed. The sink and toilet took up most of the space that the shower hadn't swallowed, and Sakura was hard pressed stripping down. She managed in a timely manner and sighed her victory. She looked up to the mirror, giving a lopsided smile in seeing that Kakashi's habits still differed from hers as greatly as ever. There was no hint of fingerprints in the foggy, wet glass, and Sakura instinctually reached out her hand to clear the mess away. She stared hard back at herself. What was she doing, looking at Kakashi like that? It was inappropriate, but more so it was unexpected. At least knowing that she knew that she could control whatever mess this was, one time spark or not. She pressed her lips together and stepped into the shower, taking her shampoo and soap with her. She wondered how Kakashi had managed. It was more spacious than she had imagined it would be, and she washed quickly and mechanically.

Dressed and feeling fresh and renewed, Sakura was ready to forgive Kakashi - mostly. Sakura was very prideful, and he had been making a mockery of her and stamping across her pride with seeming glee. It was almost fiendish and she was insulted deeply, but she was ready to show her sensei that she had matured and could brush off her emotional problems with ease. Whether or not that was actually true was another matter. So she stepped out of the bathroom with only the two outcomes in her mind, fully confident in both.

What she found was altogether different. Kakashi, dressed sloppily and in loose-fitting clothes, was curled on his bed, looking so incredibly young and innocent as he slept that Sakura's heart skipped a beat. This was different from when she'd seen him before. Whereas in the past Kakashi's unconsciousness offered no expression, this time he looked...different. He had expression, but Sakura was incapable of identifying exactly what it was. She smiled softly to herself, struck at how oddly adorable he looked.

She made the rounds of turning off the lights, checking the door and her teammates. She learned from Kei that Neji and Kiba were out, working on the perimeter, and she was more than a little pleased to find him clean and smelling pleasantly of sandalwood scented soap. She asked Kei what he had learned from the villagers. He had found even less than she had.

She told him goodnight and made her way back to her room.

Sakura lay in her bed for a few minutes before sitting up, frustrated at the feeling of guilt for Kakashi not being covered up, and quickly walked over to his bed. She pulled one end down and rolled him over as gently as she could to retrieve the other. Even though she had expected it, she was disappointed and a little sad to see his eye open and stare up at her. He didn't come off as drowsy, or effected by sleep at all actually, his black eye appearing crystal clear. He smiled and reached out to touch her hair, muttering a soft, "Thanks."

"Welcome," Sakura mumbled, more than a little touched, retreating back to her own bed.

* * *

He was in a small cabin. His internal clock told him that it was mid afternoon, but it was dark outside. The rain was there, he knew, pouring down, but he couldn't hear it. His deaf ears could only make out the sound of the growling thunder against his back, behind him, pressing in with a strange intensity, almost as though it was embracing and surrounding him. It cracked and roared, angry with him for bending his head down and away. It was like a canon booming in his ears, and he covered them with cold fingers. He started shaking, trembling despite himself, hating and cursing and fearing the thunder and the wild flashes of lightning that so deeply desired to blind him.

Kakashi hated the lightning, hated the way it destroyed with fierce anger, hated the way it consumed him.

And then he started seeing ghosts, ghosts that he had long made peace with, but now stared at him with black blood and mud caked to them, terribly muddy tears choking them. He felt a silent blame.

And he woke to the soft patter of rain against the roof of the hotel and Sakura gently shaking him awake, looking calm and serene and unsuspicious. It was early, the morning sky grey and untouchable. Swallowing to dampen his dry throat, Kakashi said softly, "Morning."

"Morning," she answered. She grinned. "You slept longer than me!"

Kakashi didn't answer, pushing the thin blanket off his body and sitting up. His thigh bumped hers and he stared down at the round curve of muscle in her leg before yawning wide enough to pop his jaw. He smacked his mouth lazily, turning his attention back to Sakura only to see her expression twisted. "Ouch," she murmured. He shrugged and moved to get up and dress. Sakura's hand on his shoulder stilled him, and he looked back to her questioningly. "Dawn hasn't even broken yet, Kakashi."

His eyes narrowed. His mind was still a little foggy. "Then why did you wake me?"

Sakura shook her head. "Your expression changed," she explained. "I thought that maybe...you wanted to wake up."

Kakashi sat back down heavily, his forearms resting on his knees, his mouth in a tight line. Sakura looked him over carefully before looping her arm through his and pressing her forehead against his shoulder. She was so used to being affectionate with him, now that he was reigning back in, returning to what he was before, she was thrown by it. "You never showed any sign of what you went through," she said quietly. "I hope that's not you hiding. I hope you're really okay."

Kakashi's fingers touched the back of her hand tentatively. "I'm fine, Sakura."

"Okay," she accepted, not at all believing him. Kakashi was always such a liar. Every time he said ever said the words 'I'm fine' it had been a lie, and she had always known it but she never called him out on it. He was too private, too locked into himself, for her to venture that far. She pulled away. "I guess you should get dressed then."

He gave a quick nod before standing, breaking away from her grasp. He reached down and pulled his travel bag from where it was disposed on the floor, dropping it back on the bed, unzipping it, and beginning to sift through in the attempt to put together an outfit that wasn't _exactly_ what he had worn the day before. Sakura watched him silently. She smirked when he gave up and stepped back, tilting his head back to stare at the ceiling, saying pensively, "I should have bought more clothes."

"There's a shop at the end of the street. I don't think it'll have much, but you probably don't care."

"I don't," he confirmed.

"I know. I could go get you some clothes if you'd like," Sakura offered.

Kakashi slouched. "That'd be nice. Thanks."

"Sure thing."

* * *

They stood just outside the hotel.

"You're insane," he stated simply, crossing his arms over his chest and meeting Kakashi's eyes.

"Really?" Kakashi asked in mock. "How so?"

"Ten miles won't do it. It's too far. Even if we _did_ somehow manage to not only set it up right but also maintain it properly, we would never be able to travel fast enough to cover that distance," Kiba shot back seriously.

Kakashi frowned, quickly becoming annoyed. "Just set the damned thing up."

"We have."

"Good, then leave the rest to me."

Kiba growled. "Who are you trying to impress? Even _you_ can't manage this."

Kakashi gave a soft sigh. "Look, Kiba, I know what I'm doing, okay? Trust me."

"You ask too much of us," Kiba complained, pulling a face.

"I only ask what I know you can deliver."

"Bah! What a load of crap." Kiba glowered. "Look, if we can lower it down to six miles -"

"Fine."

"What?"

Kakashi gave him that bored look. "I don't like repeating myself, Kiba. Do it. You can lower it down to six."

"You're agreeing to this?" Kiba asked incredulously. It was not like Kakashi to amend his commands, let alone abandon them to agree with one of his subordinates - _Kiba's_ amendment no less.

Kakashi sighed, obviously quickly losing his patience. "Yep," he answered shortly.

Kiba's nose lifted, his head shifting back and forth, eyes alert. His fists were clenching and unclenching, tense, obviously put on edge. Kakashi edged closer. "What is it?"

"A scent. It's...too sweet."

"That's strange?"

"There are seven of them."

Kakashi's eyebrows rose. "All of them have the exact same scent?"

"Yeah." Kiba was turning again. He huffed. "Ugh. It's everywhere."

Kakashi immediately sent a stream of chakra to his nostrils, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to lend heavy focus to the scent. He needn't have done it; the odor hit him like a brick. Far, _far_ too sweet to be natural. He opened his eyes slowly. Kiba was studying him, his lips drawn in a deep frown. "Should we follow it?"

That sounded like a good idea.

So why wasn't he moving?

* * *

Sakura paid for what she could. She only bought a few garments, but she was positive that Kakashi would be more than satisfied. He didn't seem too particularly concerned with what he wore. Having seen his closet, Sakura could well attest to this. Still she worried that he didn't have enough clothes to last him. Retrieving the two large paper bags that contained her purchases, she stepped out into the cool morning air. Her shoes were thin, not at all like her thick standard issued sandals, and she could feel the dampness of the soil beneath her. It was frigid and sent chills through her body. Immediately she understood that she would greatly miss the heat of Konoha while she was forced to stay here.

On her way back to the hotel, where surely Kakashi was waiting impatiently for her, she stopped at a bakery to buy a few loafs of fresh buttered bread. They were hot, steam still coming from their golden skin, and her mouth watered just looking at them, just having that warmth tucked in the crook of her arm. The village was just rising, the shops just opening. Lights were still being turned on to flood the streets. There was the distant sound of conversation, of laughter and early arguments, of commands and pleadings. It made Sakura smile, the similarities between this place and her beloved home. Turning the corner, her heart broke as another similarity hit her: poverty. A young boy, no older than the fragile age of seven, looked up at her in rigid surprise, jolting from the bag of trash he had been rummaging through moments before.

Sakura recognized him immediately. Black hair, white irises, tan skin. But the dirt and coffee grains and slick egg whites sticking to his smalls hands made any thought of kidnap damned near impossible. Standing there in a silent, pitiful confrontation, Sakura heard the sound of light footsteps behind him, and she turned her eyes to see, a few doors down, a few more children matching his immediate features tumbling out of the backdoor of a filthy second-rate restaurant. The only one carrying food was a small, small girl with eyes wider and larger than any of the rest, and even she only had arms full of tossed lettuce and tomatoes.

Sakura's chest had only ever felt this particular pain this strongly once before, and that was when she had been twelve years old and on a mission in Wave Country. And then she had only been able to offer the child a few pieces of candy.

Without a second thought, Sakura handed the bag containing the bread to the boy standing closest to her. She gave him a sad smile, told him to share and to try to keep warm. And then she walked away on trembling legs, her arms clutching the thick brown paper bags tightly.

She stopped before she got to the hotel, ducking her head and bringing a hand up to shield her eyes as she released a heated, "_Fuck_."

How the hell was she ever supposed to explain this to Kakashi? Worse yet, how was she supposed to explain that _she_ had done nothing to study them, or even to detain them? She sighed heavily, hoping that maybe - just _maybe_ - in the past five years the stick that she remembered so well might have been removed from Kakashi's unmentionably well-shaped ass.

Maybe.

Ending note: I'll probably come back to this one to twink it. Yeah...Oh, this story is slow-moving!


	6. First Meeting

A/N: I suck. I started this almost a_ year_ ago. Honestly, I just wanted to get another chapter posted before I hit that one year mark. If you've been keeping up with this story, I'm _really _sorry.

I guess this fic was on an unofficial hiatus. Happy April Fools?

* * *

Stand Or Fall

Chapter Six: First Meeting

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

* * *

Kakashi was not in the least bit bothered by her actions towards the children; at least he managed to look bored during her report, which was utterly annoying. He hadn't much to say on the subject, only a few spare words here or there, interrupting, and ultimately ending the conversation with a few curt questions:

"Did they look like they were starving?" he had asked.

Sakura had bit her tongue to keep from snapping at his tone. "They were stealing scraps, _sir_."

"Then you gave them food," he had concluded airily, "and that will keep them alive longer." He leaned back over the map sprawled out before him. "Do you feel good for such a noble deed?"

"I feel dirty."

He had smirked as he drew a red line from the outer circle of the town to the center. "Good."

Of course, Sakura now realized that he had been very preoccupied at the time, his mind absorbed in the errs of his previous plan. He informed her later of his decision to cut the perimeter down to a mere five kilometers, though there would be a separate, much smaller barrier set up around a hut near the northern most part of the country; it would not be guarded, but there would be routine checkups regarding it. She had accepted the information as she would have had she been twelve. It was Kakashi working, and his work consumed him. The morning after, she woke to find that he not returned the night before, but after her shower she found him passed out across his bed, face buried in his pillow and his bag dangling off of the edge of the mattress.

She took the bag from his limp fingers and pulled out the papers inside: three folders, bent and used; four maps, including the one she had seen the previous day; his mission journal, and several scraps of paper marked with his slanted scrawl. She laid out the maps, checking the colored lines and dots marking them, as well as the tight, small lettering of what each meant. She saw the barriers, his ideas concerning where this 'orphanage' might be, his plans concerning escape routes, as well markers for where the easiest course of battling would result - contradicted by the hardest. The notes were detailed and she wasn't quite sure she even understood all of them, but Kakashi would summarize what she needed to know.

She folded back up the maps and left the folders untouched. She replaced everything - she wasn't at all concerned with Kakashi discovering that she had plundered - and locked the door before leaving.

* * *

Kakashi awoke lightly from a dreamless sleep, noting the heavy, fresh scents in the room. He was not bothered with them, however, because half of them just belonged to Sakura and her unchangeable rummaging habit. There was little to do about it. She had likely just seen what he would have summarized later anyway, and this way she had seen it in more detail. He was almost proud of her for having taken the initiative to look over the notes ahead of him. Tsunade had probably drilled that habit into her; maybe it wasn't just plundering. But she was a woman.

Heaving himself out of bed, he lazily showered and dressed. Kakashi gathered his notes, disordered now due to Sakura, and made his way across to where Kei was surely still sleeping. Hopefully Neji would be awake and he would only have to do the debriefing once. To his luck – which was never really luck – Neji was fully conscious when he entered. In fact, the young shinobi was standing next to the window, hard-backed journal in hand. Kakashi offhandedly demanded, "What are you doing?"

"I just finished my entry for yesterday. I was going over what I had written, trying to see if I could fit anything together to make some sort of sense out of it."

"And?" he prompted.

"No such luck."

"You couldn't have been expecting any," Kakashi remarked as he walked over to Neji, noting Kei's absence. He handed over his pack, and he was pleased when Neji took hold of it without question. "It's my notes from last night," he answered. "The gist of what I plan to do with the barriers is in there, so look over that. For today, however, I will be scouting with Kiba. You may as well get started."

"Kei and I are to fix the perimeters alone?"

"It won't be nearly as difficult as it sounds now once you've seen the plans. You'll probably be able to make more sense of it than Sakura did."

"And what is she doing today?"

"I haven't decided yet." Neji looked skeptical for a moment, as though he doubted how thoroughly Kakashi had planned this new course of action; as though he didn't think Kakashi had made use of all of the materials at his disposal. "Shut up, it's a sound plan. I just didn't have any use for a medic."

Neji was already shifting through the notes. "Did you say that you did this last night? When did you find the time?"

"I didn't sleep."

"Well, that's reassuring."

"Shut it."

Neji looked back up at him seriously. "It looks good. I'll get Kei and we'll get started shortly."

"Thanks."

"Yes sir."

Despite warnings and threats and scolding that surely must have been in the violation of some sort of rule, Neji always answered with _sir_. It seemed ridiculous to Kakashi, who thought that surely the boy must have realized that he was considered equal to his commander. Neji had never stepped across the boundaries of professionalism with Kakashi, had never broached into true friendship, though it was always an undertone to their relationship. It was strange since Neji had been one of the first to see Kakashi upon his initial return; fortunately the team that had been in the room when he had barged in would eventually be the team given to him, and Kakashi privately took great comfort in that.

* * *

Neji was impressed. It wasn't so much that it was a rare thing as that it was a happening too often associated with one man: Kakashi. Kakashi was not the type to _try_ to do anything according to what someone said, according to the rules of perfection, and yet he achieved it seemingly effortlessly. The plans he had drawn up were certainly not perfect – nothing ever could be _during _an infiltration _during _a war – but the idea of having a safe house further away was a convenience that they would likely need after their scheduled kidnapping.

Neji tuned his talkie again, Byakugan stressing the tendons and veins along the sides of his face, and transmitted a simple order to Kei: "No, not that one. Two trees to your left."

"Right," the voice buzzed back.

Neji finished the seal he was working on skillfully and moved on to the next. He was busy building a perimeter while Kei was hurriedly working on repairs to the little shack Kakashi had chosen for them. It would serve them well enough, though it was no grand fortress. The real effectiveness of the safe house would only be determined by their remaining strength and ability to defend it when they arrive there. "Kei," Neji called, pausing in his work, "I'm out of seals. Where did you leave yours?"

"They're in the hotel room," Kei answered, and Neji could hear the low strain in his voice.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, this damn log is just heavy."

"All right." Neji paused before asking, "Will you be fine while I'm gone?"

"Huh? Yeah, of course I will. Don't insult me."

"Hn. I'll be out of range in two hundred meters."

"I know that, just get going."

"Fine."

Neji adjusted the strap of his bag to fit snugly against his shoulder so it wouldn't fall off before he jumped to the next tree smoothly. He did this several times over before dropping back to the earth and running. He needed the workout anyway if he was going to be able to keep up with whatever pace the captain set during the retreat. And Neji had an itching suspicion that he would be carrying at least one of the kids.

He heard a buzz and a rough, "_Shit_," before Kei tuned in clearly, asking, "Hey, when you get there can you pick up another hammer?"

"What happened to the one you were using?" he dryly questioned.

"Don't sound so unsurprised! I didn't _mean_ to break it."

Neji sighed lightly. "I'll buy another one on the way back."

"Thanks."

As Neji prepared to pick back up his pace, he noticed something - something he really should have noticed before: he was being watched. Reigning in his reaction, he calmly reactivated his Byakugan, and prayed that he wasn't out of range yet.

He saw that there was only one of them: a man behind him and slightly veering to the left. He wasn't wearing a crest, but he dressed to the nine in a thick military uniform. Neji slowly down slightly. What should he do? He could ignore the man - but that was not even a possible choice, and he berated himself for having even thought it. They couldn't be found out. He could take the man into custody, deliver him to Kakashi, question him. Sakura could drug him if need be, and they could gain important information. That seemed like a more logical course of action. Focusing on keeping his breath steady, he readied a genjutsu. Genjutsu wasn't his specialty and whatever jutsu he chose likely wouldn't be very effective. So instead of trying to do something spectacular, Neji did something simple.

He made three of himself.

Each strayed in their own direction. Neji knew that he would only be able to hold the illusion for a maximum of forty feet, so he traveled fast. The stalker seemed to be distracted by the ridiculousness of it, and Neji quickly radioed in. "Kei, I'm being followed."

"Where are you?"

"Almost two kilometers to your left."

"You're not even on track to the town anymore. Leading him away?"

"Of course."

"Need help?"

"I would like to capture him if possible."

"Right. I'm on my way."

Neji didn't respond. He ducked low into the underbrush, lying almost on his belly, and smothered his chakra signal. His breathing sounded too loud in his ears, and when he saw the man enter his line of vision, he knew that he would not be able to stall for very long. He couldn't let the guy just run off, but attacking before Kei arrived would increase the risk of the man dying. After so many missions of simple killing, Neji did not trust himself to hold back enough to keep the man alive. And he still was not sure how trained the enemy was, or even if he was a shinobi.

He could sense Kei closing in now. Closing his eyes for a moment to prepare himself, Neji withdrew a kunai and slowly made his way towards a nearby tree, using it as coverage as he rose. The man, who Neji could now see looked as if he had been patrolling, noticed him. Neji flicked the kunai towards the man's shoulder, noticing how skinny and lanky he seemed to be. It was a strange body type for a regular person; less strange for a lower-rung soldier fighting in a difficult war. But the man seemed to be quick on his feet, dodging the kunai - albeit sloppily.

Kei had arrived. He threw two kunai to complement the one Neji had thrown. The enemy managed to lift one leg in time to save his calf from impalement; however, the thigh of his other leg was not so lucky. He winced at the stab, but he gathered himself enough to leap into the trees. Neji followed him without hesitation. There was the caw of several birds as they scattered and flew away. Neji heard the hissing that had likely scared them into fleeing, and he jumped before the bomb had time to detonate. His ears rung slightly as he landed on the unstable, swaying branch next, and he looked around for Kei and the patrol guard only to find Kei also in the trees, pursuing the man. Shaking himself, Neji followed.

His Byakugan was trained, and he saw that there were two bombs already set ahead of Kei. Neji rushed forward, grabbing his teammate by the collar and pulling him down until they both dropped to a lower branch, crouched down as one of the bombs exploded. Neji quickly explained, "Attack from below," and released Kei to follow him.

He could tell Kei was getting annoyed. Neither one of them much enjoyed chase games, and what made it worse was that Kei was the type of opponent who liked enclosed, hard to move in spaces for battle. Neji supposed it was because Kei was simply not the type to run away, and those who did likely offended him. So Neji wasn't at all surprised when he saw Kei tackle the guard. He was slightly less surprised when the branch beneath them disappeared as Kei's weight propelled them forward, and he was amused when Kei, annoyed and sensing another bout of chase, released the man in order to stop himself from falling on top of him - but Kei was not above kicking the guy in the back.

As the man rolled over to shake off his fall and continue running, Kei, dropping back to the ground, threw another kunai - one which plunged into the uninjured left leg of their opponent. Neji would be the first to admit that this 'opponent' wasn't very intimidating; he did not seem particularly strong in any suit. However, he was quickly reminded that strength was not everything as the man ripped one of the stained kunai from his leg and brought it to his throat. Kei panicked and rushed forward, grabbing the hand with the blade. It was too late though, and the blood began gushing out.

"Well this fucking sucks."

"Agreed."

* * *

"General Yasuhito, a message has arrived. It was carried by a messenger raven."

"What is it?"

"It's from Shigure. It says that there is a Hyuuga running around Tea Country."

"I see." The General took another sip of tea. "And when will Shigure be arriving back? I would like to question him."

"He was supposed to arrive four hours ago, sir."

"I see."

* * *

"So he's dead?" Kakashi concluded.

"Yes sir," Neji answered, glancing at a still sulking Kei, sitting on the side of the bed and staring into a corner.

"And the body?"

"Kei buried it."

Kakashi raised his brows. "Any chance it will be found?"

"Kei buried it _deeply_."

"I see." Ah, earth types were so useful, weren't they? Kakashi patted Kei's shoulder. "I'm going to check out the crime scene. Don't worry so much."

"Hn."

"That's the spirit."

Kakashi traveled quickly. He came across one set of destruction which he presumed to have been caused be a bomb, and Neji's scent very close to where the detonation must have occurred, both in the trees and below them. He traveled further, inspecting each indention and scent, each tree missing its top and each splatter of foreign blood.

He found where Neji claimed the man had died and stooped to begin browsing the scene. There wasn't much to it, nothing more to add to what Neji and Kei had already reported. The visuals were nice and helped him sort things out, but they weren't really all that necessary to understand. Well, that and he sensed two chakra signals coming closer. He rose, but there was the fear that they had already sensed him as well. Kakashi had been relying too heavily on Neji and Kiba to sense enemies. He feared his own skills had grown rusty, and that should he try to flee, he would be found. More dead soldiers wouldn't help them in trying to keep things quiet about their visit. Well, quiet for now at least.

"What are you doing here?" he heard.

"Oh, me? I'm just enjoying the wonderful view. It's such a nice day, isn't it? I couldn't help myself."

The faces of the two men wore expression that glowered with unimpressed disbelief. One of them chimed, "The sea is much better for sightseeing."

"Yes, well, I'm not too interested in crowds."

The taller of the two sighed. "We're going to ask you to leave."

"Oh. Why?"

"You shouldn't be here?"

These two were almost clichéd, and as much as he found himself itching to do away with them, he restrained himself. "Well I'm terribly sorry, but isn't this public property?"

The man glared at him. "Don't make things difficult. Nothing is completely open to the public during a war!"

"Tea Country isn't part of the war," he inclined.

"What is all of this commotion?" a polite, deepened voice demanded.

"Oh, General Yasuhito, we're very sorry sir. We'll finish here right away," the shorter one hurried.

The General, who was slightly taller than Kakashi and considerably tanner skinned, looked over his uninvited guest. After a moment of contemplation, he decided, "Leave him."

"Sir?"

Yasuhito turned to Kakashi. "I would like to welcome you to my home for a cup of tea, should you care to join me."

"Actually, I busy viewing this beautiful country."

"That saddens me." The General eyes narrowed. "I was so sure you had traveled here before. Are you sure we have never met?"

"Quite."

"Would you care to join me anyway?"

The feigned politeness was almost too much to bear, and Kakashi new that the invitation was a cover. A strange foreigner invited to a General's home for a cup of tea? There was something far too unusual about that, and Kakashi could see that the two soldiers were being made uncomfortable by the continuing conversation. "I think I change my mind," Kakashi declared. "I will join you - though only shortly."

"Very well. Please follow me."

He was led to a splendid old fashioned home. Throughout the journey there, he and the General were tailed by several soldiers, and Kakashi understood when the General didn't speak it was because anything he said was to be done in private. The closer they approached, the more Kakashi could smell that sickeningly sweet scent on the wind, which blew in from the west. There were flowers outside however, and he used them to mask it. "What a pleasing smell. So sweet."

Yasuhito was silent for a moment. He glanced at Kakashi before throwing his gaze back to the house, answering with a taunt, "Yes."

They were shown to a secluded sitting room, and Kakashi was soon alone with Yasuhito, who went to take a seat immediately. Kakashi followed his lead and sat down comfortably. "I hope you won't mind when I refuse to drink whatever you serve me," he stated blankly.

"I wouldn't trust it either," Yasuhito answered kindly. "I didn't order for anything to be put in it, but there's always a chance."

Kakashi wasn't sure whether to believe him or not. He took a moment to study the man. Yasuhito was tanned with slightly graying hair. His eyes made him look younger than he probably was, and he had a very bright smile. "Why did you insist on me coming here?"

"I wanted to know what the famous Hatake Kakashi was doing in Tea Country. Shouldn't you still be recovering from death? Or if you are in good health, fighting a war?"

"I'm on vacation," he lied lamely.

"You won't tell me why you're here," the General murmured.

"I didn't know you were a fan," Kakashi shot back.

Yasuhito slipped his arms into his sleeves, looking for all intents and purposes greatly amused. "I have reason to believe that a man of mine is dead."

Kakashi paused. "I'm a suspect?"

"Is it so surprising?"

"I suppose not. It makes sense. However, you should know that I didn't do it."

"Oh, no, I know that perfectly well. Had it been you, you would have used the opening to sneak in and sabotage us, but you didn't. So, who are you with?"

"Hm? I'm with no one. I told you, I'm on a vacation."

Yasuhito laughed. Kakashi found the man entirely too friendly and open. "A vacation? Well, as a Konoha shinobi, could you explain what a Hyuuga is doing in this Country?"

Kakashi carefully controlled his reaction. He shrugged his shoulders. "How should I know? I had no idea there were any Hyuuga here. Is he a shinobi?"

"Certainly so."

"Well that is a shame."

"A shame he was found out?"

"No, no. It's a shame because you might just ruin his vacation too."

Yasuhito laughed again.

"Am I funny?"

With a grin on his face, he asked, "Are you even trying to hide this?"

"Hide what?"

Yasuhito sobered slightly. "This game of ignorance will soon wear thin. I suggest dropping it now. Why are you two here? There are more, aren't there?"

Kakashi sighed. He looked to the door as the tea was delivered and watched as the servant exited with utmost formality. He turned back to Yasuhito. "I'm surprised you've gathered so much."

"I didn't know anything until today," the General admitted. "I must say, it is a surprise to see _you_ though. Only less than a month ago I was still under the impression that you were dead. What had happened?"

"I was being held prisoner. Officially, it was announced that I had died."

"You escaped then?"

"What do you think?"

"I think that you are a very admirable man. I've known your name since I was merely ten years old." Yasuhito took a sip of his tea. "That makes an impression on a boy, you know. You were younger than I was, and I was the one hearing _your _name. I remember being terribly jealous of you." He smiled. "I actually rejoiced when I heard you had died. I think it was quite a childish thing to do."

Kakashi didn't answer.

"This was a fun conversation. I won't keep you any longer."

"Before I leave -," Kakashi started.

He prompted, "Yes?"

"What are you after here?"

"You've noticed it then?" Yasuhito answered with an entertained smirk.

"Yes," he answered cautiously. "It would be hard not to. But that's not really what I meant. Those kids - why are you letting them roam around and starve?"

Yasuhito took another sip. "Have you ever heard of a thing called natural selection, my friend? Only the strongest survive."

"Are you after a super soldier?'

"Hmm…I'm not entirely sure. It is fun work though."

"General," a voice called, "there's a woman asking about that man."

"Bring her in," Yasuhito answered, his expression sinking into a style of disappointment.

"Wait," Kakashi said. "Can we meet her outside instead?"

Yasuhito smirked. "You won't stay for tea?"

They were being eavesdropped on again. "I'm afraid I can't. You see, I think that's my wife out there and I wouldn't want to upset her. She was so looking forward to touring the town."

"I see. Then we should meet her instead." Yasuhito rose. "Shall we go?"

"Of course," Kakashi replied.

He followed Yasuhito to the entrance, finding Sakura standing there in her civilian getup with a puppy-fied Akamaru standing at her side. Kakashi walked around the General to get to her, immediately taking her hand and intertwining their fingers. Yasuhito studied her for a moment before his face broke into a wide smile. "My, what a beautiful wife!" he exclaimed. "I should be so lucky." He clapped his hands once before looking at Kakashi directly. "You should have mentioned her before."

Akamaru yipped. Kakashi forced a smile. "I do apologize for that."

"We should have a talk again sometime. You are the most fascinating individual."

"Why thank you."

"And a wonderful conversationalist!"

"You should tell my wife that."

"Certainly," he grinned. "Well, I hope you decide to drop by again."

"Of course." Kakashi turned to Sakura. "We should be going."

"R-right," she stuttered. She turned back to Yasuhito. "Thank you for taking care of him. He's such a ditz sometimes I can hardly keep up with him."

"I can understand that."

"Well, farewell. It was nice to meet you."

"Same here. Safe journeys."

* * *

Yasuhito frowned. "Misami."

"Yes?"

"I want you to begin gathering the children."

"Yes sir."

* * *

Kakashi turned Sakura around with him and began walking. She kept quiet for a while, until they were out of earshot, and then she asked, "What was that?"

"That was General Yasuhito."

She shot him a glare. "No, I mean, what happened?"

Kakashi sighed. "I don't think we have very much time left here. We need to get started soon."

"Oh."

"Right. Where are the others?"

Sakura looked down at Akamaru. "Well, that's Kiba. Neji and Kei are waiting back at the hotel."

"All right. Are you still packed?"

"No."

"Well, you should do that when we get back."

* * *

Posted: 4/1/11. I'm not very happy with this chapter, but I had to post _something_.


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